19 August 2009
[Hermione Snape’s diary]
Millicent stayed for a supper of Scotch Broth to discuss who might vouch for Severus. The resulting list is short. Most Slytherins unlikely to hex him on sight are either half-bloods, and thus excluded by law, or dead. His best bet might be Blaise Zabini and his wife Gabrielle, nee Delacour. Millicent gave us their address. Owling them was my first task today. Madam Clif-Wyrt still feels guilty about the job; she let me send that owl free of charge. And when I lingered before the bulletin board, she watched me with pity in her eyes. I appreciate her sympathy. But I need more than that. Her good will won’t keep me free.
When I left the Owl office, Madam Agan was waiting for me outside, her face hidden by the hood of her cloak. She did not seem to employ any Impervius Charms, although it was raining Crups and Kneazles.
“You need help,” she said.
I wanted to shake my head and move past her. She frightens me. Worse, she scares Severus.
But I could not; it was true: I needed help. I couldn’t move my left hand anymore. Severus’ poultices and Healing Charms only kept the blood poisoning from spreading. How could I work like that? Even with magic, you need two hands for most jobs—especially the kind I might be allowed to do.
Agan produced a vial. “For your hand,” she said.
I wanted to take it home, so Severus could analyse it. But she wouldn’t allow that. What choice did I have?
I held the swollen lump of my hand out to her.
Swiftly, she poured the liquid over it. The last drops she sprinkled on my right hand. I barely glimpsed the substance. Milky. Pearlescent. A split second of almost-recognition—I’ve seen this before!—then it was gone, absorbed by the wounds—
—and I gaped at a hint of scars, letters faded into illegibility.
I stood inside the narrow dry column of my Impervius Charm and stared, at my hands, at her.
“Why?” I asked her. “Why are you doing this?”
Agan ignored my questions. “You are looking for work,” she stated.
That must have been obvious to the most casual observer. I nodded.
“You should try the Tower House.”
“The ancient western gatehouse of Hogwarts,” she added, “beyond the edge of the Forbidden Forest.—An old witch lives there who cannot leave the house. Maybe she needs more assistance than her house-elf can provide.” With that she turned and disappeared into the alleyway next to Scrivenshaft’s on the other side of the street.
Writing this, the blood-quill cuts my skin with clean and clear incisions. I barely feel the pain. I am certain I’ve seen the substance in Agan’s vial before. But based on my description and its effects, Severus does not recognise the potion.
Maybe Padma and Parvati are wrong, and Amrita Agan doesn’t mean us any harm. Tomorrow I shall go to the Tower House. Perhaps there I shall find out more.
Well! I must say I’m impressed by this development. As unlikely as these things are to occur, this kind of upsprung friendship where there was only the opposite before can and does happen. You portrayed it quite nicely, and I’m also glad it’s a positive plot point. Good things happen even to people who are depressed and have gone through the mill. I hope this means there’s some hope!
Too bad the picture at the top of the chapter gave it away. Seeing Maggie Smith as McGonagall in the (admittedly nicely-done) artwork at the top took all the dramatic force away from the end of the chapter. Still a positive development, though, even if it wasn’t a surprise. I’m glad for Hermione, and by extension, for Severus.
Ah, Christ, I can feel you sharpening your knives for another gloom-fest. Only five more chapters left, and already I can feel you poking holes in whatever limited happiness or security they’ve found.
Amazing! A happy ending! I love it! See–hope isn’t so bad, is it? It does seem a trifle sudden, your ending. And we never did find out about the mystery woman. But I feel able to let our Hermione and Severus go, knowing that whatever further vicissitudes they face, they have each other on a more solid, saner basis. Thank you for your writing, and thank you for the hope you left our favorite couple (and us!) with.
I had wanted to delete the third review I left (“Ah, Christ…”), but I’ve been having problems with my computer, and it didn’t allow me to send my reasons back to you, so it (the deletion) could be done. I had read “Apprentice & Necromancer” first, and was deeply disturbed by how damaged so many of the characters had been at the end of that fic. I was therefore afraid that any positives that were about to jell in this story were all going to fall apart, instead. Once I came to the end of this and found it wasn’t going to end badly for them (yay!), I was sorry I’d been so negative in that third review. So I ask your pardon, and that you disregard that one. You really are quite a special writer, and even though I hated the fact my fictional friends suffered so badly by the finish of “A&N”, I must say your plotting is excellent, and so are your characterizations. I will come back to read more of your writing. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us!
Nice to see that you’re still reading!
One thing puzzles me: You must surely be aware that the characters in “Prisoners” are much, much more damaged than those in “Apprentice”.
Of course “Apprentice” leaves key-characters badly damaged … they have been to Death and back, after all. But that story has an ending that assures readers that yes, everything will be just fine one day, this is something we can cope with, eventually.
While in “Prisoners” the challenge of the plot is met, and superficially the characters and readers are rewarded with a fairly straightforward “happy ending”, the story is really much, much worse if you take a moment to think about it. There is no way back, no matter how much they heal. Hermione will for the rest of her life live under the compulsion of counting things. Severus will in times of crisis always drift off to his parallel world. They will always remain unable to live in an emotionally stable fashion without Draco anchoring them …
I don’t mind at all that you dislike or even “hate” the dark turns and twists of my story/stories. Some people like sweet milk chocolate, others like bitter dark chocolate, it’s as simple as that – different tastes and preferences.
Anyway, from your remarks I gather that you might be interested in hearing a bit about my motivation concerning my stories, so here are a few comments about that:
What I loathe in many fanfiction stories in various fandoms is how authors make light of consequences. People are tortured, traumatised, injured … and there are no consequences. Everyone is right as rain again in one and the same chapter. Personally, I find that not only ridiculous and boring, but somewhat despicable. It doesn’t work like that. As a reader, and therefore also as a writer, I’m simply not interested in fluffy lies, I’m in it for the hard-won happy ending, like the one I wrote for “Apprentice” … I prefer characters who have looked, heck, *jumped into* the abyss of despair and have crawled out of it again and persevered. I am interested in how characters will act when they are pushed far beyond their limits, and how that will change them, and how they will move on from there.
So if you’re looking for fluff, you will rarely find that kind of thing in my stories. But I do try to come up with interesting, twisty plots, and heroes who find the strength to go on no matter what.