Chapters 61-70

…and Warm Kisses

‘Ask you?’ Hermione gaped at Snape.

‘Yes,’ he repeated tersely. ‘Ask me.’

‘Who knows,’ he smirked at her. ‘I might even have said yes.’

‘Yes?’ She stared at him incredulously.

A terrible feeling of hope mixed with fear and dread gripped her heart and squeezed it. Nausea washed over her as she gulped again, and tried to catch her breath.

‘Sir,’ she whispered, unable to quench the giddy feeling of longing that was rising in her heart. In spite of the stiffness and the pain, Hermione balled her hands into fists. If she didn’t, she might reach for him, and she was certain that the only thing Snape would appreciate even less than a sobbing apprentice was an apprentice clinging to his robes in an effort of persuasion.

‘Sir,’ Hermione repeated earnestly. ‘If you’d only consider it! Please! You’ve read the document, you’ve seen it’s valid. If you marry me, you’re safe. You won’t have to go to Azkaban. You can live in peace.
‘It would only be a—a—marriage of convenience, a paper marriage, just for show. You would hardly notice that I’m there. I could continue keeping the dunderheads of the lower forms at bay for you. I know I am not the kind of apprentice you deserve, but at least I can do that. I think I cope reasonably well with the younger students by now.’

Hermione took a deep breath, and hurried on. She knew she was babbling almost hysterically, but she was too frightened of what he would say to stop now. ‘I—I suppose I would have to stay with you, just to keep up appearances for the Ministry. But I promise I would, I would keep out of your way. And I would like to say that I do understand that—if—there will never be anything between us. Though of course if you’d consider…if you ever thought that you might—uh…’ She blushed fiercely.

‘I—well, I guess you know that I—I would actually be…quite pleased. Uh…I do understand that an arithmantic anomaly is not any better a foundation for a marriage than a kiss. But surely it is better than the alternatives. Better than Azkaban. Or—’ she swallowed hard, ‘death.

‘And,’ Hermione went on, ‘while I’m certainly the first to admit that I don’t know much about love or marriage—I am only twenty years old, after all—I do think that—in time—we might be able to establish at least a mutually agreeable companionship, if not exactly friendship. After all, we do share some interests and we have…uh…already spent quite some time well, we’re not complete strangers to each other.

‘Please, sir,’ she whispered. ‘If you’d only consider it. It would be just to keep up appearances. Just for show. And it would save your life.’

He didn’t react, just looked at her intently. She was trembling under his black gaze. But somehow she managed to keep her chin up and was able to meet his eyes.

‘Are you quite finished babbling?’ Snape asked.

Hermione tried to swallow the pounding heartbeat that seemed to have lodged in her throat, and nodded. Snape stepped even closer.

‘Good.’ He stared down at her for a long moment with the strangest expression in his eyes.

‘However,’ he said softly, ‘you are forgetting about something here, Hermione.’

With one word all hope, and all the nervous energy that had kept her talking during the last minutes drained out of her. Her shoulders slumped, and she lowered her head, despair dragging at her.

‘Hermione. Look at me.’ His right hand moved to her chin, gripping it gently between his index finger and his thumb and tilting her head back, so that she was looking into his eyes again. His hand slid down to her shoulder. At the same time he brought up his left, until he was holding her tightly. She couldn’t have moved even if she had wanted to.

‘You are forgetting,’ Severus repeated in a low, careful voice. ‘that I’ve been inside your mind.
‘I know how you feel about me.’

Something about the way he spoke made a shiver run down her back. She opened her mouth, but he silenced her with a slight shake of his head.

‘I do not love you,’ he said curtly.

Hermione sucked in her breath. Her nails bit into her palms, her left wrist throbbed with pain.

‘Or…in any case I don’t think I do. At least…not…yet.’

Again she caught that hint of sadness in his dark eyes.

‘Hermione, young as you are…among the two of us, I think you know far more about love than I do. I find myself most ill equipped when it comes to matters of the heart.
‘You must be aware of the fact that I do feel attracted to you.
‘And no matter what impression I may have given you, I do care about you.’

She could feel the warmth of his body against her breasts, right through the various layers of their clothing. She couldn’t breathe.

‘Very much,’ Severus whispered. Hermione was drowning in his eyes.

‘What –’ She faltered and licked her lips. ‘What are you are you trying to say?’

‘What I am trying to say, in an awkward, roundabout way…is that while I still think that this ‘plan” of yours is the most bizarre scheme I have ever heard of,’ he said forcefully, before he softened his voice again, ‘I agree. You are right. Marriage to you is infinitely preferable to the alternatives. Even I am not so insane as to insist that death or Azkaban would be better options.

‘Albeit probably more appropriate.’ Severus sighed wearily. ‘The answer to your question, Hermione, is “yes”.’

A tender hand cupped her head, while his arm around her back pulled her against his body, until warm lips closed the last distance between them.