VII. ‘I’m coming!’ vs. ‘Let go!’—Find your balance!
But even if you’ve thought of all the things we’ve mentioned so far…
- if you know the purpose of your sex scene
- if you have a good grip on your POV and your characters
- if you’ve come up with realistic sex acts at the core of the scene
- if you use sensuous language to describe your scene
- if you include sensations and emotions
- if your characters feel and talk like real people
- if you’ve paid attention to your word choice, style and tone and avoided clichés
…the scene can still fail.
In the end, what makes a scene really work, is balance.
And that’s really tricky when applied to an act that evolution or God (or both) have turned into a procedure that is by nature horribly clichéd and over the top.[1]
Therefore it’s highly unlikely that you’ll achieve that perfect balance and the golden ratio of writing sex scenes in your first draft. Just like any other scene, a sex scene needs to be revised and edited or beta-read. More than once.
TIP!
Revision will help you find your balance.
- Re-read and revise sex scenes just like any other scenes.
- Use editors/proofreaders and beta-readers for sex scenes just like for any other scenes.
Reading recommendations:
- ‘Writing Love Scenes’ by Marie Huggins
- ‘The Joy of Writing Sex’ by Elizabeth Benedict
- …and as consolation: Have a look at the ‘Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Awards’—even big name authors can fail!
[1] It has to be. If sex wasn’t so terribly important to the majority of humankind, there wouldn’t BE a humankind.