An Advent Calendar for my Friends – Christmas Day

HUGUET, Jaume: The Archangel St Michael, 1456;
Tempera on panel, 213 x 136 cm, Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya, Barcelona.

The Angel of Freedom

by Anselm Grün

All of us long for freedom. Because it hurts to feel dependant. If other people control our lives, if we have no choice but to live up to their expectations around them, we get angry about that. It is contrary to our dignity. We also don’t feel well if we are controlled by our emotions or habits. We may have political freedom on the outside today. But in our daily dealings with each other many people don’t feel free. They feel subdued by the necessities of life. They feel their lives are determined by the expectations of society. They don’t dare to break away and to swim against the current. They have the impression that other people control them.

Someone does not dare to say what she is thinking. She is considering what others expect of her, what others would think of her. She is not herself, but she tries to be the person the others would like her to be. But that way I can never become a real person, that way I will never discover who I really am.

The German word for freedom, “Freiheit” is derived from the Indo-German root prai. This means: protect, conserve, like, love. The German word for suitor is “Freier”. The ancient Germans called someone whom they loved and protected “frei”, a free man. He was a free member of the community and had all the rights to go with that. He was free, unfettered, independent, unencumbered. I am feeling free if I know that I am loved. Then I don’t have to live according to the expectations of someone else. Then I am allowed to be the way I am. If I am loved by someone, I can act the way I am feeling around that person. Then I don’t have to be afraid all the time what others might think of me. I know that someone approves of me. If I feel loved down to the core of my being, I am free of the compulsion to try and live up to the expectations of other people. I am free of the compulsion to be successful all the time, to have something to prove, to conform to standards of society.

The Greek have three words for freedom. Eleutheria is the freedom to go where I want to go. I am free in my actions. I can do what I think is right. I am not constricted by rules and expectations of others. Parrhesia means the freedom of speech. You may think that this is nothing special. You are allowed to say what you think in a democracy, after all. But how often do you conform to others. I know a very talented person with an excellent résumé. But he’s incapable of finding a job, because during each interview he keeps thinking about what the human resources manager might think of him if he says this, and if he might think that he is neurotic if he said that. He is not free in what he says. We are only free, if we can show ourselves the way we really are, if we can speak our own inner truth in front of others. The third term, autarkia, means self-determination. I can decide for myself what I want, what and how much I eat, when I abstain and fast. This inner feeling of freedom, to be my own master, is essential to human dignity. Many people are driven by their addictions today. The Angel of Freedom would be good for them, who would pick them up and allow them to determine their fate freely.

A woman has fallen in love with a man. But the man does not want to have anything to do with her. Although she knows that there is no chance for their relationship and although she knows that she is only hurting herself that way, she cannot let go of him. She, too, would need the Angel of Freedom, to give her back her dignity, the feeling that she is valuable, that she does not need to run after this man. Other people feel constricted and imprisoned in their marriage, in their family, in a community. They don’t have room to breathe. They, too, would need the Angel of Freedom to give them inner freedom so that they can feel free even within the restrictions that surround them. Inner freedom means that no one can control my inner, true self. This allows for freedom even within a friendship or relationship. I am not defined by the other person. I am still myself. This kind of freedom is necessary if friendship or marriage is to succeed. If two persons cling to each other all the time, if they have to make sure all the time what the other is thinking this very moment, it is impossible for a mature relationship to grow within such confinement. Even if I have ties, I still need my freedom. And even with ties, I am free, because there is a space within me that no one can control. I wish that the Angel of Freedom may give this kind of inner freedom to you, so that you can truly feel yourself free, so you can live your life with no reservations.

© by Anselm Grün, 50 Engel für das Jahr, 1997;
 translation by JunoMagic.

I hope my angels brought a little peace and quiet to you in the busy days of December. The 24 angel icons and 76 other angel icons are posted in my icon journal, , in this post: 80 Angel Icons! If you like any, feel free to “steal” them. If you are interested in the large pictures I used for each post, let me know and I’ll send them to you. The same goes for the music.

Happy holidays!