LOTTO, Lorenzo: Angel Annunciating, 1527;
Oil on wood, 75 x 55 cm; Church of Sts Vincent and Alexander, Ponteranica
The Angel of Leaving
by Anselm Grün
There is a deeply rooted longing in men to make themselves comfortably at home and stay forever where they have once felt safe and snug. Where a person is happy, there she wants to settle down and remain forever. But at the same time she knows that she cannot settle down in this world forever. She has to leave again and again. She has to make a new start again and again. She has to break camp, a camp she built and made cosy, and continue on her way. Leaving demands severance. Old ties have to be severed. Things cannot continue the way they are. I cannot stay forever where I am at the moment.
While we are on our way, we need to break camp again and again to depart for new destinations. Every departure is frightening at first. Because what has grown old in our lives, what is familiar, has to be left behind. And when all this is left behind, I don’t know what to expect yet. The unknown provokes a sense of fear. But at the same time departure holds a promise, the promise of something new that has never been there before, that has never been seen before. If you don’t move on, your life will grow stale. What cannot change, grows old and stuffy. New ways of life want to open up inside us. But they can do that only, if we relinquish old patterns.
We want to settle down where something reaches out to us and touches our hearts. The disciples would have liked best to build three huts on mount Tabor and remain there forever in the joyful experience of transfiguration. But Jesus is not responsive to that desire. For already in the next moment the light of Tabor is extinguished by a dark cloud. They cannot hold on to that experience, they have to move on, they have to take the path down into the valley. There they will miss the clarity found on the mountain. Every deep religious experience wants to seduce us into settling down with it, into clinging to something we cannot hold on to. God cannot be kept like that. Most of all, He is the God of Exodus, of departure, the God Who always exhorts us to move on. To Moses He says: “Wherefore criest thou unto me? Speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward.” (Ex 14, 15). The Israelites are afraid of moving on. They feel oppressed and unfree in Egypt. But they have come to terms with foreign rule. At least their stew pots are full. They want to move on, but at the same time they are afraid of departure. This is the ambivalence we experience ourselves again and again. We are not content with the lives we lead. But at the same time we are afraid of moving on, of leaving the familiar behind and of daring to make a change, inside and outside. But we will experience life only if we are ready to move on, again and again. For this, we need – like the Israelites – an Angel who gives us courage for our leaving, who extends his staff to ward off the Red Sea of our fears, so we can walk full of confidence through the tides of life.
Especially today the Angel of Leaving faces many difficulties. The prevailing mood of our time is not marked by courage for new beginnings like the 1960ies, when first the Council in the Catholic church, and then the student movements for all of society, brought about a mood of change and movement. Today the prevailing mood is one of resignation, of self-pity, of depression. One tends to feel sorry for oneself, because everything is so difficult nowadays and there’s nothing you can do about it anyway.
Therefore we need the Angel of Leaving very much today, to give us hope for our time, to allow us to move on to new shores, to help us take the chance of a new beginning so that new possibilities of cooperation, a new way of treating Creation and a new way of thinking in politics and economy may blossom.
And this also means that you have to depart from fixed perceptions and rigid ideas. To burst open inner blockades, to open up closeness, to depart from old habits and entrenched structures: all of this enables us to move on to new ways of life and new periods of life.
You will hesitate often, because you don’t know where your way may lead you. Then the Angel of Leaving may be at your side and may provide you with guidance for your journey:
“For Angels rent the House next ours,
Wherever we remove–"
(Emily Dickinson)
© by Anselm Grün, 50 Engel für das Jahr, 1997;
translation by JunoMagic
Song for December 1:
(Click pic!)
"Mein Geschenk für Dich"
("My Gift for You")
by Hans-Jürgen Hufeisen,
album "Gold, Weihrauch und Flöte" ("Gold, Incense and Flute")
This angel reminds me of a poem by Hermann Hesse that I love very much. In fact, I love it so much that I looked for an English translation last year so I could quote it in “LothÃriel”…
As I think that it fits this angel very well, I post it here:
Steps
by Hermann Hesse
As every blossom fades
and all youth sinks
into old age,
so every life’s design,
each flower of wisdom,
every good attains its prime
and cannot last forever.
In life, each call the heart
must be prepared courageously
without a hint of grief,
submit itself to other new ties.
A magic dwells in each beginning,
protecting us
tells us how to live.
High purposed we must traverse
realm on realm,
cleaving to none as to a home,
the world of spirit
wishes not to fetter us
but raise us higher,
step by step.
Scarce in some safe
accustomed sphere of life
have we establish a house,
then we grow lax;
only he who is ready
to journey forth
can throw old habits off.
Maybe death’s hour too
will send us out new-born
towards undreamed-lands,
maybe life’s call to us
will never find an end
Courage my heart,
take leave and fare thee well.
~~~*~~~
Wie jede Blüte welkt und jede Jugend
Dem Alter weicht, blüht jede Lebensstufe,
Blüht jede Weisheit auch und jede Tugend
Zu ihrer Zeit und darf nicht ewig dauern,
Es muß das Herz bei jedem Lebensrufe
Bereit zum Abschied sein und Neubeginne,
Um sich in Tapferkeit und ohne Trauern
In andre, neue Bindungen zu geben.
Und jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne,
Der uns beschützt und der uns hilft zu leben.
Wir sollen heiter Raum um Raum durchschreiten,
An keinem wie an einer Heimat hängen,
Der Weltgeist will nicht fesseln uns und engen,
Er will uns Stuf um Stufe heben, weiten.
Kaum sind wir heimisch einem Lebenskreise
Und traulich eingewohnt, so droht Erschlaffen,
Nur wer bereit zu Aufbruch ist und Reise,
Mag lähmender Gewöhnung sich entraffen.
Es wird vielleicht auch noch die Todesstunde
Uns neuen Räumen jung entgegensenden,
Des Lebens Ruf an uns wird niemals enden …
Wohlan denn, Herz, nimm Abschied und gesunde!
For me this whole year has been about ending things. I would have liked to get a new start out of this year as well, but it seems that this is not meant to be. Well, to make a new start first you have to leave. I guess that I am still in the leaving phase. *sigh*
Sometimes I wonder why some lessons in life don’t get easier even with repetition.
Hey! Just a note to say that I read the Maglor story you SSPd in Tyellas’ LJ (ooh, acronyms) and loved it. It reminded me of why I like Tolkien fanfic in the first place. I am too tired to say more now (it is 3:25am) but well, well done!
Very beautiful sentiments. The angel is also very lovely. Thank you for going to the trouble of giving us a very nice gift.
Thank you for reading and for taking the time to come back to my LiveJournal in order to leave a comment.
I am glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂
Thank you again!
Being able to leave, let go and move on is very important. But sometimes also very difficult. 🙁
I’m glad you like my angel!
This is beautiful. You have blended pictures, words and music into a treat for the eyes and ears. I am looking forward to the rest of your Advent calendar.
How very true – none of us want to leave our “comfort zone”, whether it’s a comfortable job, home, friendships; and so miss out on even better jobs and friends. Well done.
He practices non-attachment, too! 😉
I think many problems of the world, maybe most, are caused by being too “attached” to things, whether they be ideas or ways of doing things or dogmas and ideologies. People will grasp onto things and do not dare step back to consider the things they are attached to and whether they are appropriate because “that’s how it was always done” or “Religious/Political Leader X said it was so, and you can’t question Leader X or you’re a heretic/traitor.” Outdated (often harmful) customs and blind devotion to a leader are just forms of attachment. But people are perhaps too afraid to leave the familiarity of these things.