IV. The Big IF – Do you really need a sex scene? And if yes, what kind of a sex scene do you need?
1. Why write a sex scene? Or better: Why not?
I am convinced that there is no overarching reason why explicit sex scenes should not be written. Sex is a part of life. At least biologically speaking, there’s really nothing special about sex. It’s a normal and deeply ingrained instinct and function of our bodies that drives us towards procreation. But sex is not only a basic biological instinct and need that most human beings share. The expression of this instinct, the customs and experiences attached to it, can also be immensely meaningful on a cultural and personal basis.
Why—ever—should sex remain private?
Sex is no better or worse than other intimate matters. Death, birth, torture, sickness—so many intimate and intensely private matters are expressed, sometimes brutally and graphically, in art, literature, film, music, even in advertisement. Why should sex be treated differently? So by all means go ahead and write sex if you want to! Write it graphically or vaguely, once, or twice, or in every fucking chapter of your novel! But please don’t skip the next question.
2. Do you really need that sex scene?
To answer the question of whether or not you need a scene, three other questions are typically employed:
- Does the scene advance the plot, does it move along your story?[1]
- Does the scene develop your characters, does it explore your characterisation?
- Does the scene enhance the theme or message of your story?
The idea is that if a scene does neither, if a scene does not fulfil a certain function within a story, it is mere decoration. It is extraneous. You don’t need it, and you’d be better off without it.
Two Problems
That idea and those questions pose two problems in my opinion. The first problem is that these questions are terribly abstract.[2]
So what does ‘advance the plot’ actually mean?
A scene advances the plot, if it has a function within the story you are telling. Imagine you talk to your best friend on the phone. You’re giving her a summary of your story. Just the bare bones of the story you want to tell. ‘And then the hero does this, and then that, and that’s it.’ If you don’t include the sex scene and your friend says: ‘I’m missing something here. First happened A, then happened B, but how did they get from A to B? ‘ Then the scene is necessary for the plot, and it moves your story along. However, if your friend says: ‘So the story is about A, right? But whatever has scene B to do with A?’ Then the scene is not necessary for the plot. It’s a bit like the ‘conditio sine qua non’-test for writing: Can you think that sex scene away from your story without the story falling apart? If you cannot think it away, then the scene is indispensable and essential for your story.
Or in terms of a simple story arc revolving around sex: If your heroine is supposed to get pregnant in the course of the story, under normal circumstances she will need to have sex at some point.
And how does a scene ‘develop a character’?
A scene develops a character if it affects the way that character functions within the story you are telling. Imagine you’re still on the phone with your best friend and chatting about your story. If you leave the scene off, and your friend says: ‘I don’t understand why your hero ended doing what he did and feeling the way he did.’ Then the scene is necessary for your character development.
Or in not a not so simple story arc involving sex: Her first abusive husband put your heroine effectively off sex and, in consequence, off men. For some reasons she must marry again. A sex scene with her second husband proves to her that not all men are sadists in bed. That changes her attitude towards sex, towards men, towards her body, and possibly towards her whole life.
Motif, message, huh, what?
A strange phenomenon I’ve come across is the tendency to self-denigration among fanfic writers. Though most fanfic writers seem to agree that there are fanfic stories out there whose quality is easily on a par with that of published, best-selling novels, when the very same fanfic writers want to express the idea that the quality of a novel is bad, they often say ‘It reads like fanfic’. Not even ‘bad’ fanfic—just ‘fanfic’. And now I’m trying to imply that such lowly fanfic stories have something like ‘thematic significance’? An underlying meaning, motif and a message? And even worse, that sex scenes, that smut, can be a part of that deeper meaning? Yes, actually. Many fan fiction stories are actually stories that belong to the romance genre (for example, in my recent survey of fanfic stories archived at FFNet, 43.36% of all Harry Potter stories were archived as ‘romance genre’ and even 57.7% of the Twilight stories). What the underlying meaning of a romance story is and how sex scenes can enhance and develop that message is obvious. But even in other genres, intimate scenes can illuminate the personal relationships of characters, their development within the story, and any meaning and message connected with that.
So how does a sex scene advance plot, develop characters and enhance messages?
Obviously that depends on your story, the theme of your story, the plot of your story, and your characters. The following questions may be helpful to discover the function of a sex scene:
- Why are those people having sex in that scene?
- What does having sex in that scene mean to those characters?
- How does having sex in that scene make your characters feel?
- What does having sex in that scene change for them?
- What is different afterwards because those people had sex in that scene?
- How would the story change if they did not have sex in that scene?
Depending on the answers to these questions, you will be able to determine if the scene fulfils a function in your story or if it is only decoration.
But what if it’s just decoration? Then it’s gratuitous and bad!
The questions posed at the beginning of this chapter seem to imply that if a scene is not necessary for a story, if it is just ‘decoration’, it must be cut. That is not true.
Decoration is important!
Keith Snyder offers a great explanation for this conundrum in his instructor’s letter ‘Novels in Progress 2006’. He says:
‘Decoration is important. It’s what makes a Christmas tree not just some dead, brown bush somebody dragged into the living room …’
Just like a novel is more than its absolutely necessary functional elements, more than the gist of the story, more than what you need to tell your best friend on the phone so that she gets some kind of an idea of what the heck is going on in that fic of yours. Keeping that Christmas tree comparison in mind, it’s also easy to understand where the problem in scenes that are more decorative than strictly necessary. One, what kind of decoration you like on your Christmas tree (or IF you like Christmas trees at all) is much more a matter of personal taste[3] than a matter of quality. Two, if you put too much stuff on your Christmas tree, its branches will slump. And if you really overdo it, the poor tree will keel over. That can also happen to a story.
3. ‘Form Follows Function’
In modern design the sentence ‘form follows function’[4] has been the starting point of many heated discussions . However, no matter on which side of that particular argument you end up, you can use the relationship between function and form to make writing sex scenes easier. Once you have determined if your sex scene fulfils a necessary function in your story or if it is ‘just’ decoration, once you’re clear on the purpose of the sex scene, it will be easier to decide just what kind of a sex scene you need. If the sex scene contains an essential plot twist, if it provides a crucial impetus for the development of a character, or if it explores the theme and the message that makes up the heart of your story, you will need to devote more narrative space and descriptive details to it. If the sex scene forms just a ‘stepping stone’ of the plot, if it illuminates just a facet of a character, or if it merely enhances the theme of your story, less space and detail may be sufficient for the scene to fulfil its purpose. Sometimes ‘minimalism’ and adhering to the credo ‘less is more’ can be extremely effective even for sex scenes that are vital for a story. To create a powerful erotic atmosphere you don’t need explicit sex scenes. You don’t need to get down and dirty. Sometimes a skilful ‘falling curtain’ and a tantalizing fade-out can provide more erotic tension than a detailed explicit scene ever could.
1.61803399 – The Golden Mean of Decorative Scenes
However, I do not believe that this technique works very well for ‘decorative scenes’. Decoration is important, but it is not necessary. If you reduce a decorative scene too much, you may be better off without it. Even worse, overdone or bad decorative scenes are effective only for one thing—for driving readers away. Finding the golden mean for decorative scenes requires a fine balance. The aim of such scenes is to provide just enough titillation to make those readers who enjoy such scenes sigh with pleasure, while allowing other readers—who do not care for such things—to skim and skip a few paragraphs, and to easily slide back into the story. That can go very wrong if you drop a decorative sex scene in the middle of a tight arc of action scenes. While it is quite plausible that a police officer working on a difficult case will have sex with his wife before he goes on to find the essential clue or catch the perpetrator the next day, a long, detailed decorative sex scene may very well make your story keel over like that overburdened Christmas tree mentioned before. It is much easier (and safer) to let the curtain fall at the right moment. Writing a decorative sex scene well requires a lot of skill.
Whatever you do, it’s your choice
There are no fixed rules for the decision whether you need a sex scene or not and what kind of a sex scene you need. That depends on your story. On the story you want to write. On what feels right to you. Choose wisely.
Summing up: there is no big ‘IF’!
- It’s okay to write sex scenes.
- It’s even okay to write sex scenes that are ‘just’ for decoration.
- But: If a scene has a purpose, it matters more to the story and to the reader. If a scene matters to the readers, it will touch them on a deeper level and it will be more meaningful to them.
- And: once you know the function of a scene, it’s easier to find a suitable form of writing it.
[1] Please keep in mind that delaying the plot, slowing down a story can also be a legitimate function of a scene. With all that talk about advancing the plot and moving along the story, that is easily forgotten.
[2] Doubtlessly, those concepts have the ring of unquestionable expertise and thousands of college lessons ‘Creative Writing 101’ backing them up. I’m pretty sure you could teach a reasonably smart parrot to use them in place of real arguments, too. Theoretical concepts are useful only if you understand them, and if you are able to apply them.
[3]Handmade, wooden Christmas tree decorations from the Erzgebirge can be incredibly skilfully crafted, for example. I’m aware of that, but I’m still not a big fan—while my husband keeps frowning upon my personal preference for colourful American glass baubles.
[4] See ‘Form Follows WHAT?’ by Jan Michl.