That may sound strange, but you can\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand quite often you really, really should!\u00e2\u20ac\u201ddo some research before writing your smut.<\/p>\n
Just because I have the experience of cooking and eating some excellent and a few really bad meals doesn’t mean that it won’t help me poking around some cookbooks and related websites when I want to write a scene about cooking. The same is true for sex. Just because I’ve had good sex and bad sex doesn’t mean I don’t need any new input on writing sex.<\/p>\n
An attitude like that often leads to lazy writing, and more often than not, lazy writing turns out to be bad writing. Research can provide new ideas and new inspiration. Research can also help with the opposite problem, if you feel uncomfortable and insecure about writing a certain sex scene because you haven’t had that kind of experience and couldn’t have that experience even if you wanted to. While it’s comparatively easy to try out the meal you want to write about, changing your gender or your sexual orientation just to broaden your horizons for the sake of a sex scene is obviously not an option.<\/p>\n
The good news: As a writer you don’t need to have experienced what you are going to write about. Women could never write male protagonists if that were true, and vice versa. Or nobody could ever write a death scene. Imagination and empathy are two of the most important tools of any writer.<\/p>\n
But research\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand a second, or maybe even a third pair of eyes\u00e2\u20ac\u201dcan help you a lot with writing intimate, extremely private and personal experiences in a credible manner.<\/p>\n
Here are some things worth researching in connection with sex scenes:<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Scenes are the building blocks of stories.<\/p>\n
Holly Lisle explains them as ‘the smallest bit of fiction that contains the essential elements of a story’[1]<\/sup> . Roy Peter Clark[2]<\/sup> calls them ‘the capsule of time and space created by the writer and entered by the reader’.<\/p>\n For example, James Scott Bell calls the elements that structure a scene ‘chords’, two ‘major chords’ (action and reaction) and two ‘minor chords’ (setup and deepening).<\/p>\n Jack M. Bickham says that the pattern of scenes is goal \u00e2\u20ac\u201c conflict \u00e2\u20ac\u201c failure\/disaster.<\/p>\n Roy Peter Clark reminds us that scenes don’t have to be chronological\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthere are flashbacks, parallel narratives, shifting perspectives.<\/p>\n Holly Lisle claims that ‘change’ defines a scene: ‘When is a scene a scene? When something changes. What defines the completion of a scene? The moment of change.’<\/p>\n According to Sandra Scofield every scene has an event, every scene has a function in the narrative, every scene has a structure and every scene has a pulse.<\/p>\n Dwight Swain posits the existence of two different kinds of scenes that he calls ‘scenes’ and ‘sequels’ and he ascribes them different patterns or structures. His ‘scenes’ consist of a goal \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a conflict \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and a disaster, while his ‘sequels’ are made up of a reaction \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a dilemma \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a decision.<\/p>\n Sketch out the structure of two sex scenes dealing with adultery using Dwight Swain’s method.<\/p>\n You can even apply the structure of classical drama to sex scenes!<\/p>\n Last but not least:<\/p>\n Remember the rest of your story, and the structure of your plot! Often, a sex scene has two (or even more) stories to tell.<\/p>\n Sex can be a means to an end\u00e2\u20ac\u201dto gain power, to exert revenge, to fulfil wishes, to create magic. Sex can mean everything to one participant, and nothing to the other. Sex can heal. Sex can wound.<\/p>\n And: not every sex scene is about love. Not every love scene contains sex.<\/em><\/p>\n [1]<\/sup> ‘Scene-Creation Workshop \u00e2\u20ac\u201d Writing Scenes that Move Your Story Forward’<\/a> by Holly Lisle<\/p>\n [2] <\/sup>Roy Peter Clark, ‘Writing Tools’<\/a>, see also online at the Poynter website, here<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Enough with the foreplay already. Let’s get down and dirty.<\/p>\n A good sex scene consists of realistic sex acts, because realistic sex acts allow the readers to stay immersed in your story.<\/p>\n If you make the reader stop and stare, if you make them go ‘WTF?!?!’, if you make them wonder if it is even physically possible to do what your characters are doing, the readers are jerked out of the scene and out of the mood.<\/p>\n Usually that effect does not affect the reading experience in a positive way.<\/p>\n Therefore:<\/p>\n No, really.<\/p>\n Think your scene through.<\/em><\/p>\n Consider the weight of your characters, the surface they move on, how soundproof the walls are that surround them…<\/p>\n Helpful techniques for tackling that problem include:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n One of the most frequent complaints about sex scenes is that they feel ‘too clinical’ or ‘too mechanical’.<\/p>\n One of the problems that cause this impression is routine.<\/p>\n I’m not talking about the famous clich\u00c3\u00a9 of how it’s all about inserting Tab A into Slot B. Because once you get to the point of writing actual intercourse, you will always end up inserting a tab into a slot. Nope, the fact that basic human anatomy stays basic human anatomy for roughly 99% of all sex scenes (yes, I know I’m discriminating against hot alien sex scenes and tentacle porn here) is not the problem.<\/p>\n When all authors write their sex scenes as if they are following the same instruction manual for the complete standard repertoire of realistic sex acts, and when they implement the complete standard repertoire of realistic sex acts in each and every sex scene they write, no matter what the situation the characters are in right now, that’s when sex scenes feel too clinical, too mechanical, and clich\u00c3\u00a9d.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Routine is boring.<\/p>\n Doing everything every time is boring.<\/p>\n Therefore:<\/p>\n Where are your characters? What have they done before the sex scene? What will they do after the sex scene? Do they have all the time in the world or are they in a hurry? If you are writing slash\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwhere’s the lube? If you’re writing a modern story, where are the condoms? Are they all alone, or are there others nearby? Why are they having sex here and now? What is the ‘other’ story of your sex scene?<\/p>\n Who are your characters? What do your characters look like? Does that affect the way they have sex? How are your characters right now? Why? How much experience do they have?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n We experience our world and each other<\/em> through (at least) five senses.<\/p>\n You can:<\/p>\n And your senses are some of your best writing tools!<\/p>\n Like a painter uses colours, you can use sensuous impressions to describe a sensual, an erotic scene. Descriptive, sensuous writing means sensual, erotic reading.<\/p>\n And don’t confuse ‘descriptive writing’ with ‘show, don’t tell’!<\/p>\n Compare:<\/p>\n He was hard. She pressed against him and told him that she needed him.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n That is ‘narrative summary’ and ‘telling’ instead of ‘showing’.<\/p>\n His cock was thick, the skin was flushed from his erection, two or three shades darker than the rest of his body. She couldn’t wait to feel him inside of her!<\/p>\n Quickly, she closed the distance between them, pulling James into a tight embrace. Between them, she could feel him twitching against her stomach, so hot!<\/p>\n She inhaled deeply. His scent-bergamot and lemon, mixed with a hint of sweat-made her heart beat faster.<\/p>\n ‘I need you,’ she whispered.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n That is a descriptive style and ‘showing’ instead of ‘telling’.<\/p>\n The problem<\/em> with descriptive language in sex scenes is something else: STD-symptoms instead of realistic descriptions and purple prose.<\/p>\n Just don’t do that. Please.<\/em><\/p>\n Also, you really don’t need<\/em> to!<\/p>\n Completely ordinary sex is quite<\/em> messy enough. And good sex is even messier.<\/em><\/p>\n There are bodily fluids. You get sticky and smelly. You bump heads and pull hair. Bodies engaged in ‘the dance as old as time’ can make the strangest noises. Upon closer inspection certain body parts look just plain weird.<\/em><\/p>\n In other words, you’ve got more than enough to play with\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwithout resorting to romance novel lingo!<\/p>\n Opinions vary considerably concerning how much realistic graphic details should be included in sex scenes. Some believe that bodily fluids should never be mentioned. Others think that it’s perfectly fine to have sweat and smeared semen in sex scenes and to describe just how strange body parts and sex acts can look, since all of that is true for sex in real life, too.<\/p>\n What it comes down to is that there are no rules about which or how much realistic graphic details to include in sex scenes. But it is a good idea to keep in mind that graphic realism\u00e2\u20ac\u201despecially concerning taste and scent\u00e2\u20ac\u201dmay repulse some readers.<\/p>\n Another problem of descriptive language in sex scenes is ‘purple prose’ and fanciful descriptive euphemisms. For example: ‘the flower of her innocence’, the ‘ripe cherries on her creamy mounds’, ‘his straining shaft’, ‘turgid manhood’, ‘he was hard as steel’ and similar awful phrases.<\/p>\n Beware of overly flowery language: it will make both gardeners and editors reach for the pruning shears\u00e2\u20ac\u201dOUCHIE!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Since we’re already on the topic of word choice in terms of sex scenes, we can move right along:<\/p>\n The trouble with word choice in sex scenes, especially terms for ‘naughty bits’ is that readers and writers alike often feel that there simply are no good words the body parts involved. Either the words are too abstract and sound very clinical, and rather as if the characters are in a doctor’s office and not in bed. Or the words come across as crude and dirty.<\/p>\n Quim<\/strong><\/span> or cunt<\/strong><\/span> positively scream off the page. And penis<\/span><\/span> and vagina<\/span><\/span> often don’t come across in a sexy and sensual manner, but rather clinical and sterile. And to make things worse, many readers have strong likes and dislikes concerning certain terms for body parts.<\/p>\n Comparisons and euphemisms are often horribly clich\u00c3\u00a9d purple prose.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, there is no easy method for getting those words right.<\/p>\n One solution is to simply avoid naming body parts. Often, this is an elegant way out of this dilemma.<\/p>\n His penis pressed against her stomach, hard and hot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Given that the reader already knows that the scene is about a man and a woman, both are aroused and naked, you can also write:<\/p>\n He pressed against her stomach, hard and hot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Everybody will know what’s what.<\/p>\n But sometimes, especially when your sex scene contains specific actions and sensations, this way of writing around the act can end up feeling artificial and prudish. And that can destroy the sexy mood you’ve been trying to build up in your scene.<\/p>\n Sadly there are very few good ‘neutral’ words you can use in that situation. Member, length or arousal maybe. Her most intimate place. Her most sensitive spot.<\/p>\n So what can you do if you really need to say what’s what?<\/p>\n Things are easier when you write a solid limited third person point of view. Then you can take a step back, consider your hero or your heroine and decide what they would call the body parts in question in their minds and in conversation.<\/p>\n Hermione Granger <\/strong>is the child of doctors. Yes, they are only dentists, but chances are that they will have a much more ‘matter-of-factly’ attitude towards what’s what. She’s also a bookworm and a budding academic.<\/p>\n For her it is absolutely in character to think of and speak of, penis, vagina and clitoris.<\/p>\n The vocabulary of Sam Gamgee,<\/strong> a Hobbit and a gardener in a fantasy world, is likely to be more rural. He could easily think of a cock, and of ploughing her furrows.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n One thing you should pay attention to is that language and word choice you use in your sex scene fits the rest of your story.<\/p>\n If most of your narrative is written in a formal style, if you like unusual, beautiful and difficult words, then a sex scene that’s all about quim, cunt, cock, dick and fuck, will stand out like a sore thumb. It will make your readers recoil. It will jerk your readers out of your story and leave them high and dry. On the other hand: If your style is informal, if your characters already use some slang in dialogue, if it fits your characters to think of cock, cunt and fuck, even shy readers won’t object (too much).<\/p>\n Word choice is very important. Terms for body parts can positively SCREAM off your page. Clinical terms destroy the mood. Flowery euphemisms are unintentionally funny.<\/p>\n Decide carefully on your vocabulary in sex scenes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So you’ve managed to write a descriptive, unique sex scene with realistic sex acts and no terms for body parts that do not SCREAM OFF the page and actually fit the portrayed characters.<\/p>\n And now I get to tell you that’s still<\/em> not enough for a good sex scene. Many porn writers actually stop at this point.<\/p>\n With the result that the sex scene still feels clinical and gratuitous.<\/p>\n Why is that?<\/p>\n Because it’s not enough to write what happens, to describe the physical aspects of sex. If you leave it at that, all you’ve got is porn.<\/p>\n For a meaningful erotic scene, you also need to include the sensations and the emotions elicited by the physical acts, what the sex feels like and how that makes your characters feel.<\/p>\n It’s not enough to write:<\/p>\n He was fairly thick. Thankfully, he knew that. Smiling at her, he carefully worked himself inside her until he was fully sheathed. She gasped, and he began to move.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n You need to include which sensations<\/em> that evokes within her.<\/p>\n If the writing just hovers over the body parts like a video camera, the effect you create is that of a porn flick. It’s not enough to ‘see’ the body parts involved, you need to feel them.<\/p>\n And\u00e2\u20ac\u201dimportant!<\/strong>\u00e2\u20ac\u201dsexual touches are not limited to genitals.<\/p>\n To create a unique, authentic sex scene, exploring other erogenous zones of the body can be immensely effective.<\/p>\n Although she was slick with need, it almost hurt when he entered her. She couldn’t keep from gasping at every inch he slid further in. Once he was fully inside her, she experienced a sensation of almost unbearable fullness-and at the same time, a desire for more. With a soft sigh, she arched against him, creating the slightest friction. He bent forward and brushed his lips along her collarbone until he reached the hollow at the base of her throat. She shuddered at the delicious sensations that pulsed and throbbed deep within her.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n But you should do even more: You also need include how the acts you portray in your scene make your characters feel.<\/em> And that’s more than just the physical experience of sex acts. What is the emotional reaction of your character?<\/p>\n ‘More,’ she breathed. His scent, mixed with a hint of sweat, made her heart speed up. ‘More…’<\/p>\n A look of intense concentration on his face, he lowered himself and brushed his lips over hers.<\/p>\n ‘Always,’ he whispered.<\/p>\n His unexpected tenderness made her feel strangely fragile. Inexplicable tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. Precious, <\/em>she thought. You are precious to me…<\/em><\/p>\n Then he began to move inside her, gently, but insistent. With each push and pull, waves of desire washed over her, bringing her closer and closer to release.<\/p>\n After a while, his rhythm faltered. His breathing grew heavy. Suddenly he squeezed his eyes shut, scrunched up his face, pushing hard as he came. What an endearing expression in a man who was always on his guard! She nearly melted with the love she felt for him.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n And that’s STILL not the end of it really… because writing your sex scene you shouldn’t forget the context\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthe plot of your story.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At the beginning of this essay, I told you a secret about writing good sex scenes. Remember? Good writing is good writing.<\/p>\n One of the essential ingredients of good writing are strong, carefully developed characters. Characters with a personality. With strengths and weaknesses, with needs and dreams. With a past and a future.<\/p>\n That’s true for sex scenes, too.<\/p>\n If your characters feel like people, like real, living, breathing human beings, your sex scenes are much less likely to feel flat, mechanical or clinical.<\/p>\n What makes characters feel like real people in sex scenes?<\/p>\n Real people don’t look and act like sex gods. Real people are self-conscious when they get nekkid with someone new. Real people bump noses and heads. Real people have morning breath. The bodies of real people make noises when they are having sex-apart from moans of desire you may hear the slapping of balls against her arse, or an unintended fart… Of course you don’t have to describe any of these details! But you can. And keeping in mind that real people don’t look and act like heroes and heroines in bed may help you add the one little endearing detail that brings your scene to life.<\/p>\n Real people have a past (and a future). Real persons have a sexual history, and that will influence how they act, react and feel in a sexual situation. And if they are inexperienced that, too, will matter!<\/p>\n Imagine:<\/strong><\/p>\n How will someone behave in a sexual encounter who has only ever had one partner… for forty years. Now he or she is with someone new for the first time.<\/p>\n Someone has a history of rape and abuse. How will those experience influence the way they act in bed, what they are willing to do? How they experience sex?<\/p>\n Three people, all with experience in threesomes, get together. How relaxed and experimentative do you think they’ll be?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Real people have preferences. Likes and dislikes. Out of bed and in bed.(And I’m NOT talking about the clich\u00c3\u00a9d question ‘Does she swallow or not?’.)<\/p>\n Some men hate having their nipples touched. Some women are uncomfortable with cunnilingus. Lots of people aren’t keen on trying out anal sex.<\/p>\n Certain positions simply don’t work for everyone, even if they don’t demand that you tie your characters into a knot. Someone with a history of abuse and rape could be immensely uncomfortable with certain positions.<\/p>\n People are ticklish. Biting doesn’t do a thing for some people.<\/p>\n Women don’t come every time.<\/p>\n Couples don’t do everything that’s possible every time they get into bed together.<\/p>\n Men have their bad days, too.<\/p>\n Another crucial point for how to nail characters (pun intended) is point of view.<\/p>\n Especially in sex scenes.<\/p>\n Head-hopping and switching the point of view in the middle of sex scenes can lead to unintentional hilarity (who is doing what to whom just now?). And the perspective of an omniscient narrator can get uncomfortably close to voyeurism.<\/p>\n To create a meaningful private experience for your characters that may aid the development of said characters and even further your plot, it’s much better to stick with one of the characters for sex scenes.<\/p>\n It also makes writing all those pesky details much easier! You have to concentrate only on one person to create a realistic, touching scene\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwhat they can see, hear, smell, taste, feel, what will feel good or bad to them…including the problem of what to call the naughty bits. It’s much easier to find out what one individual character would call them than to find terms that always fit.<\/p>\n If you do want to shift POV between the characters involved in a sex scene, use ‘natural breaks’ in the scene to make the switch, for example between seduction and foreplay, foreplay and actually going to bed, or after orgasm and before the sweet aftermath of post-climactic bliss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n An essential part of good writing is good dialogue. A scene gains life if the voices of your characters ring true.<\/p>\n Writing good dialogue is difficult even in ‘normal’ fiction.<\/p>\n Dialogue doesn’t work like real people talking. Too much realism\u00e2\u20ac\u201dtrailing off, awkward pauses, ’empty’ words, incomplete sentences, repetitions of questions\u00e2\u20ac\u201dall of that make dialogue difficult to read. Sol Stein writes:[1]<\/sup> ‘Dialogue…is not a recording of actual speech; it is a semblance of speech, an invented language of exchanges that build in tempo or content toward climaxes.’<\/p>\n But dialogue in sex scenes, and especially during sex, is even more difficult.<\/p>\n It starts with deciding if there should be dialogue at all. Because, let’s face it:<\/p>\n One very simple (but in most cases probably accurate) assumption states that if people can still discuss tomorrow’s dinner or last night’s presidential debate during sex…then the sex isn’t any good.<\/p>\n So what do people say when the sex is good?<\/p>\n A joke<\/strong>[2]<\/sup> may serve as an example:<\/strong><\/p>\n Did you know there are four different types of orgasms?<\/p>\n They are:<\/p>\n The positive orgasm: ‘Oh yes, ohh yesss, OH YESSSS!’ …which is probably not as funny if your name is Fred…<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p><\/blockquote>\n Onomatopoeic noises-grunting, moaning, gasping\u00e2\u20ac\u201dare far more realistic than flowery pornographical exclamations such as ‘Ride me, you wicked warrior!’. Unfortunately, they rather defy writing. It’s nearly impossible to convey such sounds accurately. And a reasonable imitation is either very funny…or very boring.<\/p>\n Clich\u00c3\u00a9d cries of ‘Oh God!’ during climax may be realistic, but like all clich\u00c3\u00a9s they should be used sparingly.<\/p>\n Where dialogue is concerned, less is definitely more during sex!<\/p>\n A particular dialogue problem to watch for is men in slash stories who talk and behave like women. Men are still men, whether gay or straight.<\/p>\n As Minotaur says on his Sex Tips for Slash Writers site<\/a>:<\/p>\n ‘One thing to be wary of is writing one partner as the “wife”. Men, even gay men, are trained to be less emotionally open, less demonstrative. Yes, we do feel, and even occasionally cry, but gay men are every bit as emotionally closeted as their straight counterparts. Think of all the troubles you have in your relationships with men, and then double them. Instead of just one partner being distant, uncommunicative and emotionally stunted, both are.’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Dialogue before and after characters have sex can be crucial for the success of your scene, because it can do what dialogue always can accomplish.<\/p>\n [1] <\/sup>Sol Stein, Stein on Writing, <\/a>Chapter 11: The Secrets of Good Dialogue, St. Martin’s Griffin New York, 1995.<\/p>\n [2]<\/sup> Thanks to Mike Kellner for the joke.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" VI. The ‘Dirty Deed’ 1. Research That may sound strange, but you can\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand quite often you really, really should!\u00e2\u20ac\u201ddo some research before writing your smut. Just because I have the experience of cooking and eating some excellent and a few … Continue reading There are different ways to look at scenes.<\/h4>\n
Example:<\/h4>\n
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‘Sex is hardly ever just about sex.’ \u00e2\u20ac\u201d Shirley MacLane<\/h4>\n
TIP!<\/h3>\n
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Reading recommendations:<\/h3>\n
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\n3. ‘Aaaaand ACTION!’ – Where do all the body parts go? Or: Is that even possible?<\/h3>\n
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4. The tab A & slot B clich\u00c3\u00a9\u00e2\u20ac\u201dRoutine is a mood killer!<\/h3>\n
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Compare the clich\u00c3\u00a9d heterosexual example 0.815 b)<\/ul>\n<\/ul>\n
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Pay attention to the external circumstances of your sex scene and use them to make your scene unique!<\/h4>\n
Pay attention to the internal circumstances of your characters and use those to make your scene come alive!<\/h4>\n
Examples:<\/h4>\n
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TIP!<\/h3>\n
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5. Description: The weeping cock\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand other symptoms of STDs<\/h3>\n
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TIP!<\/h3>\n
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6. Word choice: Naughty bits for beginners and advanced learners<\/h3>\n
Word choice can make a sex scene flow or fail!<\/h4>\n
Examples:<\/h4>\n
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Point of view can help with word choice!<\/h4>\n
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Example:<\/h4>\n
TIP!<\/h3>\n
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Reading & research recommendations:<\/h3>\n
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7. Sensation and Emotion<\/h3>\n
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TIP!<\/h3>\n
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Reading recommendations:<\/h3>\n
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8. Your characters are people, not robots!<\/h3>\n
Real people bring sex scenes to life.<\/h4>\n
Imperfections.<\/h4>\n
Histories.<\/h4>\n
Preferences.<\/h4>\n
Point of view and sex scenes<\/h4>\n
TIP!<\/h3>\n
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9. ‘The Penis Dialogues’ or: Would they really SAY that?<\/h3>\n
(And if they did, should they say it in your story, too?)<\/h3>\n
Dialogue during sex?<\/h4>\n
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\nThe negative orgasm: ‘Oh no, ohh nooo, OH NOOO!’
\nThe spiritual orgasm: ‘Oh god, ohh god, OH GOD!’
\nThe fake orgasm: ‘Oh Jeff, ohh Jefff, OH JEFFF!’<\/p>\n‘Girly Men’<\/h4>\n
Dialogue ‘before’ and ‘after’ sex<\/h4>\n
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TIP!<\/h3>\n
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