![\"chapter](\"https:\/\/lh5.googleusercontent.com\/-DI6medYo8BA\/UymNvHTvhxI\/AAAAAAAADUg\/Wa5NFtOGbR4\/s800\/vacation4.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153The advantage of New Zealand, or Christchurch at least, is that you see them coming,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris declared with satisfaction, before he turned left to leave the town and drive back to their Hobbit hole. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Also, there aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t as many of them as in L.A. or New York. And they are different. I think I almost keeled over when that guy actually asked for permission<\/i> to take a picture and ask a few questions. Politely, too.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You did go rather pale there for a moment,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach agreed. For his third morning in New Zealand, they had met up with some people from \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Zachariah\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in a caf\u00c3\u00a9 at the harbor. Two or three Americans who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d stayed on for a vacation after filming had wrapped like Chris, but mostly local people from makeup and costumes \u00e2\u20ac\u201c artsy types. That had worked out in their favor. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been caught as a group. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d also had a good reason to limit questions to a harmless topic: Zachariah and filming. And as far as they could tell, no one had paid attention to them arriving and leaving together.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thing is, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re never safe,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris said as they left the town behind. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nowhere. Like, the other day, I was at the mall. Buying soy milk for you, by the way, among other things. And there was a young woman, and she recognized me and of course she had to talk to me. But she seemed okay, your typical friendly Kiwi. Sane. We were chatting, almost like normal people. The weather and stuff. And when I was leaving, you know what she did?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Chris paused for dramatic effect, and Zach had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly where this was headed. And indeed, Chris raised his right hand, forming the ta\u00e2\u20ac\u2122al<\/i>. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This! I swear, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never run from a shopping center that fast in my life. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s crazy.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach snorted. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Chris, you know there are Trek fans in New Zealand, too. Karl <\/i>lives here.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Good point.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris smiled but didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t turn his head. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We got lucky again, though. At the caf\u00c3\u00a9.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
There was no denying that. There was also no way they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d pull that off in Berlin (or New York or L.A.). They were both used to circumspect behavior toward their significant others in public. However, there was a difference between prudent reservation and feigning friendly indifference.<\/p>\n
After this morning, Zach knew any such subterfuge was an impossible endeavor. Not because he wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t willing; he was realist enough to agree to any sensible compromise that would make their lives and careers easier. (He was surprised at how much he hated the pretense after just a few hours, though.)<\/p>\n
But Chris<\/i>. Never mind that they were both professional actors \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Chris simply couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do it. Zach had seen proof of that this morning, in a dozen aborted touches. In faltering gestures that never reached their natural conclusion. How Chris ended up nervously touching himself instead, stroking his thigh or his stomach, rubbing his shoulder or his neck. And that was discounting Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s expressive eyes that were not as easily controlled as casual movements. Zach was pretty sure that one of the makeup artists \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a friendly woman with blond dreadlocks who kept calling Chris \u00e2\u20ac\u0153sweet pea\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c had known what was up at Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s very first glance in his direction.<\/p>\n
To witness all of that got to Zach. Even more than his own studied nonchalance. To watch Chris trying so damn hard to keep up a fa\u00c3\u00a7ade of mere friendship (and failing spectacularly) was bad enough. To see how that hurt<\/i> Chris was worse. To observe how a very specific shadow of confusion and isolation seeped into his bright blue eyes. That Chris was clean-shaven today and looked absurdly young didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help.<\/p>\n
Chris turned into the parking lot of the Hobbit holes, eased carefully into a spot between two other rental cars, and switched off the ignition. Zach stared out the windshield at green hills dotted with decorative sheep. He wondered about wrong moments and worse moments for difficult conversations. In his previous relationships he had displayed an uncanny talent to pick them. When Chris jumped out of the car, he took a deep breath and followed suit. He caught up with Chris at the rear of the car.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Keeping us secret,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not going to work.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No shit,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris muttered. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sorry.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
How Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shoulders slumped hurt all over again. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No need to be sorry, sweetheart.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d As expected, the silly endearment jerked Chris out of his funk. At least it provoked a wry smile. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do anything wrong,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach went on. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Also, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s part of the purpose of this vacation, isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t it? To figure out some practical aspects. That includes personal limits in terms of public relations. And it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s better we realize that here and now than …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He gestured at the hills and the sheep, thinking later, Berlin and L.A. and New York.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris said and opened the trunk to retrieve the groceries. After breakfast they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d prowled the farmers market and walked away with quite a haul, from whole grain bread to savory pies for dinner (seafood for Chris, pork for Zach). \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I … I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know why this bothers me so much.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach stepped behind Chris and pulled him into his arms. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never been in this situation before. Also, every relationship is different.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Zach.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris turned around, holding on to him a little too tightly. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Chris, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s okay.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d But Zach could feel him practically vibrate with tension.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris started. Then he inhaled ragged breath and took a step back, leaning against the open trunk. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been through all that. And you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve handled it with such grace and integrity. I admire you so much for that. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s so unfair to you that there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all that drama waiting just around the corner all over again. Just because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s unfair,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach agreed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But not because of what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been through or not \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and I was lucky, for me coming out has been an overwhelmingly positive experience. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s unfair because it shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t matter how you define your sexual identity or when you choose to explore certain aspects of that sexual identity or if you do so with me or with Iris at your side. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s<\/i> unfair. To both of us. But most of all, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s unfair to you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach put his arms around Chris again and kissed him, deeply, until he felt Chris relax. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It will<\/i> be a circus because of Trek. But if we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re smart about it \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and with a bit of luck \u00e2\u20ac\u201c we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll run the show.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153From your lips to God\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ear.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Okay, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s get this stuff inside.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Putting away the groceries, the conversation inevitably turned to food.<\/p>\n
Zach weighed the carton with free range eggs in his hand. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The caf\u00c3\u00a9 was nice,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153even though my Eggs Bene weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t by any stretch of imagination Eggs Bene.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153The mustard sauce totally slayed you. God, your face.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris laughed, carefully stowing lettuce, fennel, and celery in the fridge. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Though it was a fantastic sauce, light and creamy and spicy and mustard-y and all.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Just in no way appropriate for Eggs Benedict.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach put the eggs next to the fridge on the counter.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Then you need to suggest a new name,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris decreed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Because you only object to the semantics, not to the taste, you snob.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Semantics matter,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach objected and handed Chris a jar of quince chutney. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Also, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a matter of principle.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And of convenience,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris said, staring blankly at the hand painted logo of the chutney. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Labels are convenient …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He shook himself and slid the jar onto the shelf next to the jam. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How about \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcEggs Mustiardy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach snorted. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you want to go there, I have a better idea. Did you know that one of the German words for balls is actually eggs \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Eier<\/i>?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No! Seriously?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris arched his eyebrows into semicircles of intrigued surprise. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even want to know how or why you managed to learn that in just a few weeks of Berlin.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He pondered the carton of eggs next to the refrigerator. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But I approve. Oh, the possibilities of wordplay that double entendre opens up …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Thoughtfully, he licked his lips. A wicked gleam lit up his eyes, and he exclaimed triumphantly: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And the winner is \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Cumber Eier Batch Balls<\/i>!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/i><\/p>\n
Zach stared at Chris. A stunned second later he had Chris against the fridge. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Christopher, I thought we had discussed that issue.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He kissed Chris, sucking his lower lip into his mouth, thrusting into his mouth with his tongue, and pressing against him with the full weight of his body. Minutes passed like that until they had to separate to catch their breath.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Which issue?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris asked, his lips red and swollen, his eyes dark with arousal.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Foreign languages,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach panted. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153For the sake of my sanity, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not permitted to speak them.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Chris put his arms around Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s neck, flushed, breathless, and fucking breathtaking. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But what if I want to\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He broke off and blushed even more, looking everywhere (the fridge, the eggs, the ceiling) but not at Zach.<\/p>\n
Zach had an idea what Chris might have been about to say. He kissed Chris again, softly, and whispered against his lips, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Exceptions might be made for special occasions, depending on certain circumstances.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And what circumstances might those be?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153The proximity of an available bedroom.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach stumbled backwards, dragging Chris in the direction of the door.<\/p>\n
When he had Chris pinned down on the bed, Zach could feel his heartbeat in his whole body. And the way Chris gazed up at him … his eyes so wide and impossibly blue … Zach had seen that look before. In New York, and again this morning at the caf\u00c3\u00a9. Fragile, almost fearful. Resting his forearms on Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shoulders, Zach tenderly brushed a few particularly rebellious strands of hair out of Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face, before he kissed Chris again. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re allowed to say it, if you want. In any language. And if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know it already, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll even teach you the German version.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach could feel Chris tremble. Chris inhaled, his lips parted. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Zach …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris drew another shivering breath, while he worked his fingers under Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shirt. Zach couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help squirming when Chris stroked his sides. When Chris hugged him around the waist to pull him even closer, it was Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s turn to gasp.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Zach.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Another breath, another heartbeat. Zach couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look away from Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s eyes. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I love you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach had expected to hear those words. He wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t prepared for the effect they had on him. Each syllable hit him like a punch in the stomach. He felt winded \u00e2\u20ac\u201c wordless, powerless. For a while he could only hold Chris and breathe through heavy heartbeats. Finally, he managed to pull himself together. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Chris?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ich dich auch.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/i>Zach sounded like Harold in a particularly nasty spat with Skunk, so he figured he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d pulled it off.<\/p>\n
Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shocked expression supported the impression. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What was that?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153In this context? German for \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcI love you, too\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. The literal translation is actually \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcI \u00e2\u20ac\u201c you \u00e2\u20ac\u201c too\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. As you can imagine, a very versatile phrase.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach grinned down at Chris. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And it works even when you have a cold. Especially<\/i> when you have a cold.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fuck, you may have a point there with how foreign languages should be off limits. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no fair.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris arched against him. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Say it again.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ich dich auch.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i><\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
They ended up baking pie in their PJs that afternoon. Because PJs were comfortable and had elastic waistbands that allowed for easier access to essential erogenous zones. And pie … who needs a reason for baking pie?<\/p>\n
Enamored, Chris bent over the basket on the kitchen table to scrutinize the organic apples they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d bought at the farmers market. (Braeburn and Granny Smith; supposedly the best mix for a pie, tart and sweet at the same time). That posture was too much of a temptation. Zach stepped behind Chris and hugged him tightly. Chris sighed, almost hissed, and Zach hesitated, nuzzling his neck. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sore, sweetheart?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
The effect of the question was immediate: a soft flush that rose from Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s body and suffused his neck and face. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nrrgh.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i> Chris groaned. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No! That is, not really. Okay, maybe a little. Like, I guess I can kind of understand what girls mean with \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcfucked inside out\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 now.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He blushed even more fiercely.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not helping your case, Pine. Or your ass.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach pushed against Chris, leaning heavily on the table, his back aligned with Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jesus Christ, Zach.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris moaned. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do that, or I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to beg you to fuck me again, and then we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll never bake this pie.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach rocked against Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s body. Not because he had any serious designs on his ass right now, but because Chris felt so damn good. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hmm…<\/i> you smell nice.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Gently, he nipped at Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s neck. And fuck if that position wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tempting after all. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153New perfume?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ahhh\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/i>Armani. Code.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris pushed back against him. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Apparently my face fits the scent. Actually, I really like it. And the pictures for the commercials, I think you will like those. They are very stylish. Remind me to mail them to you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris abandoned his apples. He twisted around to embrace Zach. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I swear, I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been this horny since I was sixteen.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He kissed Zach sweetly, then gazed at him with his best puppy dog eyes. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But. Pie?<\/i> Please?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach laughed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What is it with you and pies? How can anyone be so addicted to pie? You had this artisan pie for breakfast, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have those farmers\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 market pies for dinner, and now you want to bake apple pie?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153All the pie!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris grinned. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s pie day today. Actually, it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t, because that was on the fourteenth, but I think we can still have pie day. Because pie<\/i>. And the breakfast pie had cheddar and chorizo and bell peppers and potatoes. How could you resist?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I have no idea.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Privately, Zach supported any pie plans, though. Well-fucked and relaxed, Chris looked better today than when Zach had arrived here three days ago and much better than when Chris had come to see him in New York on his way to New Zealand. Chris had also gained a little weight. Just enough to emphasize his muscles instead of his bone structure. The effect was delicious. Zach could tell that Chris felt better, too. He didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t bitch about the weight gain the way he had with his supposedly \u00e2\u20ac\u0153chunky\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Trek figure, and happily blamed the good food all over the place in Christchurch (with a special mention for a pizza place they definitely had to hit next week).<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nothing yet,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris declared dramatically. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153In L.A. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d bake blood orange pie for you. With my very own oranges.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Who would even make that pie?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach wondered aloud, gently stroking curled fingers over Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s temples.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s blood orange pie,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris insisted. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to investigate.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s get this apple pie done first,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach suggested, but he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t move. The moment was too perfect. Too precious. He could stay like this forever, with Chris in his arms, the blissful scent of warm skin, lemon, bergamot, and apples in his nose. Or at least until Chris nudged him again with a plaintive \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Pie …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i> on his lips.<\/p>\n
Zach sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I bet you drove your mother crazy as a child.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Possibly,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris agreed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the reason she became a therapist. Or at least that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what my sister claims. Okay, so I know this is like a terrible sin, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m cheating on the crust. Hil, my makeup artist, pointed me to this little bakery in Christchurch where you can get really awesome crusts, ready for baking and all. So we can concentrate on the fun part. The filling.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re impossible.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d But Zach sat down and obediently started peeling and slicing apples.<\/p>\n
Half an hour later, Zach was peering with interest into a pot with apple slices, a dash of apple juice, sugar, and assorted spices. Chris sprinkled a tiny pinch of cayenne pepper over everything, and sighed happily.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the trick, you know,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris explained. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You need to cook<\/i> the filling. Only for a few minutes, but then it will be all gooey and yummy in the crust, and not like, chunky and chewy.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He spooned up a little of the apple mixture. Holding the spoon over his left palm, he turned to Zach. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Careful, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hot.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
With a cautious slurp, Zach tasted. Predictably some sauce spilled from the spoon and dripped down on Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fingers. But Zach didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind at all. He took the spoon away from Chris and put it aside. Then he lifted Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s left hand to his lips. Delicately, he licked across his palm and proceeded to suck the sweet apple mush from his fingers until Chris closed his eyes with a no less delicious sigh.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You are, Christopher,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach murmured and drew back reluctantly because if they managed to spoil that pie, he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d never hear the end of it. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Very hot indeed.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
A few minutes later, they were sitting on the bench next to the fireplace to watch the pie baking in the oven. Chris had already transcribed the pie recipe into his new notebook to preserve their very special, extraordinary, and awesome pie day for posterity. Now they were simply snuggling, although Chris had brought \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Hobbit\u00e2\u20ac\u009d from the bedroom just in case he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d get the opportunity to sneak in another chapter.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not surprised that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re reading a Hobbit book while living in a Hobbit hole,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach said with a smile. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But I almost expected to find you buried in non-fiction.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Non-fiction?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris turned around. He pulled his legs up onto the bench and wrapped his arms around them, more like a little boy than a grown man. Also, a man over thirty shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be so damn twisty when he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t put a serious effort into yoga or tai chi.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hmm-hmm.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i> Zach had put on socks. It was sunny today, but cool. Once the sun was gone, the floor turned cold, and Zach wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t actually a fan of freezing feet. Chris, of course, remained barefoot, all pretty feet, delicate ankles, and long, crooked toes.<\/p>\n
Chris tilted his head, mulling over why Zach might think he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be into non-fiction at the moment. When realization dawned, he smiled. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ohhh…<\/i> those kinds of books.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Given your academic background, as well as your mother\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s and your sisters\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 choice of occupation, it didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem like a completely implausible assumption, considering the situation,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach said, acutely aware of how convoluted he sounded.<\/p>\n
Chris licked his lips thoughtfully and slid his right hand down to his feet, trailing his index finger back and forth across his toes. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Zach, if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m allowed to say \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcI love you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122, I think you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re permitted to ask how I feel. About, you know, being actively bisexual now.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Now Zach turned to face Chris, too, although he refrained from twisting himself into a pretzel, content to rest his right ankle above his knee for a more comfortable position on the bench. He captured Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hand and entwined their fingers. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153So tell me.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Chris sighed and rested his chin on his knees, curling into himself. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really know. I mean, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve always been attracted to men, too. Well, up to a point, I guess. Seeing as I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t actually do anything much about it. But growing up in California, and with my mom working as a therapist … I was aware of what you can be. What I could be.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He fell silent and frowned, wrinkling his forehead in serious thought. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think there was just this sense that whatever I am is fine before it became a practical issue. So I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t worry about it. And then when I got sexually active, I was really into girls, so … that was easy. And then, one day I woke up, and it was a political issue. Because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not just who you might be, not just with whom you might like to have sex. That in itself \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the enforced politicization of identity \u00e2\u20ac\u201c is such an obstacle to self-discovery. It narrows down the choices you perceive.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He hummed to himself. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s such a subtle loss of innocence. You may not even notice for the longest time.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
The alarm of Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s phone shrilled. Promptly, Chris unfolded from his origami posture and squirmed around Zach, scooting out from behind the table. With heroic determination, he slipped on the padded oven mitts (cream-colored, with a pattern of black paw prints). Chris crouched in front of the oven window. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey, it looks about done. At least it hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t turned into charcoal. And it hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t exploded. Excellent.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He opened the door and carefully pulled the pie from the oven. The aroma of apples and cinnamon and freshly baked crust wafted toward Zach, carried by a wave of warm air. Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s stomach growled at the scent. Chris set the pie down on the granite trivet in the middle of the kitchen table and sucked in a deep breath. He closed his eyes with the kind of blissed out expression that Zach would normally attribute strictly to high-quality dope.<\/p>\n
Zach couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t resist. He snagged his iPhone from the chair next to him and snapped a picture. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And I shall call it …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He paused dramatically. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153… the perfume of pie: paradise.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i><\/p>\n
When Chris opened his eyes, Zach added. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When I post this to Instagram, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gonna be the caption. Or maybe the other way around? Or … something else altogether? What do you think?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Waiting is always hardest.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris sat down on the chair opposite of Zach and pulled up his knees again, hugging his legs protectively against his body. He sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Waiting for pie to cool, I mean.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach raised an eyebrow but didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t say anything. He<\/i> could wait. Predictably, Chris rolled his eyes. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When did you want to post that pic on the internet?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153When we are ready,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But realistically, I think we should plan for Berlin.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153May, then.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris kept staring at the pie, deep in thought. Suddenly he raised his head and smiled, that shy, sweet smile he almost never showed in public. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Just call it \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcpie philosophy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/i>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
The following day, in an effort not spend their whole vacation literally holed up (and to make up for All The Pies), they decided to go for a walk. The plan was to follow a track from Heathcote to Sumner, via Lyttelton. Chris had arranged for his driver to drop them off and pick them up again, so they didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to worry about getting a taxi. The path was supposed to be well-marked and not too challenging. Perfect to get a feel for the terrain. That proved to be true; the greatest challenge was to side-step the cow patties liberally splattered across the path and to avoid the attentions of sociable sheep. Walking was good for talking, too, and soon their conversation emulated their relaxed progress, rambling along comfortably. Every now and again they paused so Chris could play with his camera.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You know, yesterday? Your lead-up about books? That kind of surprised me.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris mopped the sweat from his face with his sleeve. The day wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hot, maybe sixty-five degrees, but the sun was brilliant, and the air shimmered like glass. Zach was glad he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d insisted on hats in spite of Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s protests about how they were not in New York, for god\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sake. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I thought you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be all about authentic experience.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris stopped walking. Aiming his Nikon at a particularly flirtatious sheep up on a boulder, he snapped another picture.<\/p>\n
Zach slowed down, then retraced his steps to stand next to Chris. The light was so bright that Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s eyes were crinkling in spite of the sunglasses. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You need more sun screen,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said and tossed the tube at Chris. He paused and let his eye drift. To blue skies and blue seas (Gollans Bay, if he remembered the map correctly) and grassy hills ambering with autumn. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And well, yes, I am. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got this one shot at life, so you should truly live it. Not follow some beaten track just because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s there.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He pointed at the narrow road they were following out of Lyttelton. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But I had my own phase of reading \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcthose kinds of books\u00e2\u20ac\u2122.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Douchequotes, Zachary.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris hooked his sunglasses into the open collar of his henley and obediently lathered up his face. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That phase, ordinary people call it \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccollege\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. And I know this must come as a disappointment, but Berkeley doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t actually offer courses like LGBTQIA 101 or \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcsexual identity for beginners\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. Though I swear some people I know attended How To Be An Asshole 101 and passed with flying colors, too.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He handed the sunscreen back to Zach and hid his eyes behind his sunglasses again. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I can still get \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcthose kinds of books\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 whenever.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He licked his lips, then spat with a moue of disgust. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Eww, sunscreen.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
They continued walking in silence, until Chris abruptly picked up the thread of their conversation again around twenty minutes later. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Also, I can always talk about that stuff with my therapist. And I guess I will, too. Eventually.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He grimaced. For someone two therapists in his immediate family and someone who happily mentioned his own experiences with therapy in interviews, Chris certainly didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem sold on the concept. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But right now I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to think things through on my own.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He turned to Zach, taking off his glasses again. As if he needed Zach to see his eyes right now, in all their cerulean uncertainty. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, and with you. If you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind. Too much.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be a really authentic asshole if I objected to that,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach replied succinctly and without hesitation. In fact, he was relieved that Chris had finally started talking, if in a somewhat circuitous fashion. (Well, he wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t precisely straightforward in how he approached the topic himself, so.) And their conversations were interesting, if frustrating on an emotional level.<\/p>\n
Zach took his responsibility as a gay man in his position very seriously. It was a question of authenticity \u00e2\u20ac\u201c that word again \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and integrity. To do what he could. Because even if it was just a Tweet, you never knew who needed to see that particular tiny message. That things could get better, that you could make it. But what Chris had said the previous day, about the enforced politicization of identity … Yeah, there was that, with its very specific, too often toxic divide between public identity and intimate self. Zach was finally able to define his public persona according to convictions he believed in with all his heart. For Chris, he had been willing to enter a life of compromise again. He was honestly relieved that they had ruled out that option. But he worried about Chris. And he couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t shake the feeling that he was less of a help to Chris than he ought to be: as a gay man, as his lover, and his friend.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
Two days later they decided that they were ready for a more challenging hike. Accordingly, they had Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s driver take them southwards to Akaroa to try out the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153N\u00c4\u00abkau Palm Gully Scenic Reserve\u00e2\u20ac\u009d walk. Properly outfitted (with hiking boots, backpacks, and hats) and suitably equipped (with supplies for a picnic, several water bottles, and more sunscreen) for a real adventure, they set out.<\/p>\n
The starting point for their hike was at a farmhouse hostel. They didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to walk for a long time until the narrow road turned into a meandering path. Running roughly halfway up the coastal hills above Akaroa Harbour, the track soon lived up to its promise of spectacular views. Zach feasted his eyes on the scenery. The landscape of the peninsula, with its hills and mountains, definitely had a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Lord of the Rings\u00e2\u20ac\u009d vibe going for it. Everything seemed expansive and epic here, in ways that made you wonder about what mysteries might be waiting just around the corner. The ocean reminded Zach of Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s eyes after an orgasm, and the sky seemed to have forgotten the meaning of clouds.<\/p>\n
A few hours later they emerged from the cool emerald shadows of a forest littered with palm trees onto a sunny slope with a rather grand view of the ocean and the coastline. Obviously, a break was in order. For some reason Chris had even remembered to bring a fleece throw. They spread the blanket across thick bushels of sun-bleached grass in a sheltered dell, at a safe distance from the path. Protected from the wind by a wall of boulders and screened from sight by a thicket of wind-swept broom, they enjoyed a ridiculously perfect picnic with whole-grain bread, artisanal cheeses and sausages, mixed salad in colorful plastic containers, and homemade apple pie for dessert. Zach sighed happily. Okay, that was definitely<\/i> the kind of island experience he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d had in mind for this vacation. Then Chris brought out his Nikon for a souvenir portrait, and thanks to a convenient rock and an autotimer that actually worked, the picture turned out quite nice \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the perspective only slightly screwed up.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So, labels,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris remarked a few minutes later, scrutinizing the label of his water bottle. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I get the appeal. There are definitions. You can start arguing semantics and politics and literary history. Opting out of labels, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s douchebaggery. Because labels are not just about stereotypes. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not even about the communities behind the labels, but about people. The political element distilled into individual lives. But opting in … I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m thirty-three<\/i>, Zach. I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lived that label.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris waved his water bottle in a random gesture. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I mean, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not as if there is no label at all that appeals to me. I … I really like the idea of pansexuality. That I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m attracted to persons. Instead of, well, labels<\/i>. But it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a very intellectual concept.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He shrugged uncomfortably.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nothing intellectual about my dick up your ass,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach said, a very matter-of-factly reassurance. He finished up his slice of pie and stretched, the sun warm on his face. The silvery clouds that lined the horizon seemed far away.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah, but what if it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris asked. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Or what if my track record in terms of relationships wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t as cataclysmic? I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d still have my man-crush on Karl, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d still be aware of how attractive men are to me sexually. And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d think of how it could be with men \u00e2\u20ac\u201c how it would be to have sex with a man, to fall in love with a man. But I would be married to a woman. I would remain married and faithful to that woman for the rest of my life. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the normative force of the factual, right there. Everything else I could be, everything else I could see myself being, it would be just theory. Possibility isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t identity. Or is it?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I reiterate,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach said and plucked the bottle of water out of Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hand, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nothing theoretical about my dick up your ass. And though that makes me<\/i> kind of a dick, the notion that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just<\/i> me does appeal to my ego.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Zach got on his knees and laid his hands on Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shoulders. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And since we are already on topic …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He pushed Chris onto his back and draped himself across his body. Framing his face with his palms (sexy stubble today instead of the more protective beard Chris had favored in recent years), Zach studied Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s expression. Serious, yes. Pensive, absolutely. Perhaps apprehensive. Definitely <\/i>overthinking things. But not distressed. Good.<\/i> And he could feel Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s growing erection even through the heavy fabric of their jeans. Desire uncurled in the pit of his stomach. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How do you feel about outdoor sex?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Man, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris frowned.<\/p>\n
Zach ground against him. The sun warmed his back. The scent of autumn and ocean tickled his nose, and made him want to burrow down against Chris, to taste skin still cool with sweat from walking, or already flushed hot with lust. Abruptly, awareness rushed through Zach in a flood of adrenaline. How easily he might have missed out on knowing Chris like this, on feeling Chris like this.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Please,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he wheedled. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got lube. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got condoms.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d brought three; for a hiking tour of six, perhaps eight hours. He wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t quite sure if that indicated delusions of grandeur or more serious problems \u00e2\u20ac\u201c like an incipient sex addiction, perhaps. He definitely couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to get enough of Chris.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Really?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Now Chris stared at him. Wide-eyed, wanting, but still timid.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gonna see us down here?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach asked softly. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Unless paps routinely equip sheep and gulls with cameras now.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t put it past them,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris muttered. But the information that lube and condoms were within reach had kindled a fire in his eyes, and his erection felt much more insistent than before.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I want you, Chris.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach lowered his hands to Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hips and slipped his fingers under the waist of his jeans. But he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t yank the shirt free yet.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Like this?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris asked, gasped almost, already fumbling for the fly of Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s jeans.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he agreed and began to unbutton Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shirt. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Just like this.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Getting out of hiking boots and jeans et cetera was damn awkard, but in Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s opinion so worth the trouble and<\/i> the risk. To feel the sun and the wind on his skin, and Chris naked under him, Christ<\/i>.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m gonna make sure those gulls don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t see much more than my ass,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he promised and fished a sachet of lube and a condom out of his jeans pocket. Zach knelt between Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s legs and stared down at him, utterly exposed, his nipples tight with the cool air, his cock heavy and full with arousal.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fucking gorgeous,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach murmured. Then he shook his head and bent over Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s body. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No. Beautiful.<\/i>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He kissed that enticing mole about an inch above Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right nipple. And he might have spent an inappropriate amount of time playing with Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nips next, but Chris reached for his dick. His grip was confident by now, but no less alluring than his more hesitant touches during their first few times together. Zach groaned and barely resisted the temptation to press down and rub against Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s cock until they both came, just like that, in a mess of spilled semen and sweat-slick, wind-swept, sun-kissed skin.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gonna fuck you now, Chris.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d But when he was sure he had himself under control for a little while longer, he made no move for his lover\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ass yet. Instead, he kissed the triangular hollow at Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s throat. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The suprasternal notch,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he whispered. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Such a sexy word. Such a sexy spot. Makes you squirm every time.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d When Chris writhed under him, Zach grinned \u00e2\u20ac\u201c only to freeze when Chris exacted sweet revenge with skillful slides of his fingers up and down Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shaft.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Still scared of sea gulls?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach asked, breathing hard.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fuck me already, you fucker.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris arched against him with uninhibited abandon now.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Soon.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach caught Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wrists, pushed his arms to his sides and held him down. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153First I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got a gift for you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Now?!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i> Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s voice rose, incredulous, increasingly desperate for release.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Another quote for your notebook. A sex quote. I saved it for a special occasion.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach kissed Chris. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sex must be mixed with tears, laughter, words …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i> He kissed Chris again, with conviction. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mixed with all the spices of fear, foreign travel …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i> Another kiss, warm and firm. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153… mixed with novels, stories, dreams, fantasies, music, dancing, wine.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i> Finally, a bite, almost hard enough to hurt, sucked into the curve of Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s neck. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is how we do it,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Zach whispered into Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ear, trailing the shell with his tongue, nipping at the lobe. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is how we have sex. This is how I love you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He would have laughed at Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s cross-eyed expression and leisurely kissed his way down to Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s cock if he hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been more than a little desperate to fuck properly himself now. Zach tore open the lube, spilling a dollop on Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s dick before slicking up the fingers of his left hand. Probably fingering wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even necessary for Chris right now, considering how often they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d had sex during the last few days. But damn, he loved watching his fingers slide into Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hole, loved observing how Chris spread his thighs for him, loved feeling how Chris clenched around his fingers. Zach kept a light hold of Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s dick while he teased his prostate. He ground his own erection against Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s thigh to ease the rising pressure. God, that was good<\/i>. But not good enough. Chris clawed at his back, hard enough to hurt, clearly sharing the sentiment.<\/p>\n
A moment later Zach rolled on the condom, squirted the remaining lube over himself, and sank into Chris\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s body with a cry. Despite his initial reserve, Chris raised his legs eagerly, drawing Zach as deeply into his body as he could. He was comfortable with the logistics of gay sex by now, and reached for his own cock without hesitation, allowing Zach to turn his focus inside. To concentrate on the rhythm of fucking, and on holding<\/i> Chris. For delirious moments Zach felt he could go on like that forever, see-sawing into Chris, dipping down to kiss sighs from his lips. Then a gust of wind hit his balls, icy and unexpected, and he came so hard his vision whirled with blue and golden fractals.<\/p>\n
When Zach grew aware of his surroundings again, he lay sprawled over Chris, their faces pressed cheek to cheek. His dick was still softening inside Chris, and he was strangely reluctant to sever the connection between their bodies.<\/p>\n
But another blast of wind made Chris shiver. And then a heavy drop of rain hit Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ass. He pulled out and collapsed on his back next to his lover. Staring up at the sky he wondered where all the clouds had come from all of a sudden.<\/p>\n
![\"fake](\"https:\/\/lh5.googleusercontent.com\/-hAxgdWfQnh4\/Uym5SfjqmwI\/AAAAAAAADU4\/Rz5h8B-jhZY\/s800\/pie.jpg\")
pie philosophy<\/p>\n
(Unnecessary disclaimer: the Instagram is fake, nothing but fantasy, and just an illustration for this story.)<\/p>\n
Author\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Notes:<\/b><\/p>\n
Zach\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sex quote is from Ana\u00c3\u00afs Nin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Diary, Vol. 1: 1931-1934: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sex must be mixed with tears, laughter, words, promises, scenes, jealousy, envy, all the spices of fear, foreign travel, new faces, novels, stories, dreams, fantasies, music, dancing, opium, wine.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00c2\u00ab<\/a> \u00e2\u2122\u00a5 \u00c2\u00bb<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Gathering Of The Clouds (Or: Pie Philosophy) \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The advantage of New Zealand, or Christchurch at least, is that you see them coming,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Chris declared with satisfaction, before he turned left to leave the town and drive back to their … Continue reading