Five minutes later, Leonard stumbled from the transporter platform almost before he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d materialized. Gratefully, he noticed that Scotty had been true to his word: The transporter room was empty. He gripped Scotty\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s arm. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153For God\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sake, make sure they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get separated \u00e2\u20ac\u201c that could kill them.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Scotty stared at him, eyes wide with concern. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ready when you are, Doctor.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Leonard ignored Scotty\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s alarm. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Waiting for you in Q1.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Leonard took a deep breath and pulled out his tricorder, ready to point it at whatever appeared on the transporter platform. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
A fraction of a second later, the white whirlwind of transporter beams left behind two entwined, naked bodies in the middle of the platform. Without waiting for Scotty\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s reaction, Leonard trained the tricorder on Jim and Spock. After a long moment of staring at the scans, ignoring the tricorder\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s alarms and warning lights, he breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing had changed. At least something.<\/p>\n
Leonard slipped the belt of the tricorder over his shoulder again and turned to Scotty. The Chief Engineer was staring at their naked friends. Blinking, he opened and closed his mouth a few times without making a sound, before he pressed out, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Holy\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i><\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Indeed,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard snapped. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153On my mark, beam them over to Q1. As uh…<\/i> gently as you can. And then get Sybok back up here.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Scotty gulped and nodded. Bones turned on his heels. As promised, M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga was already waiting for him in the antechamber of the quarantine room when he got there. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What happened, Doctor McCoy?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he asked, concerned. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Did something go wrong with the Bonding?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthe fuck should I know?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard ground out and brushed past M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga. He stepped through the double entry into the quarantine room. An expanded hospital bed took up the center of the room. Steeling himself, Leonard tapped his comm unit. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Scotty? We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re ready. Do you have the exact coordinates of the bed?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Verified and locked, Doctor.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Then go ahead.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard took a step back to stand next to M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga, who had followed him into the room.<\/p>\n
White swirls condensed into two bodies. Next to Leonard, M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga gasped. Leonard didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t suppress an unpleasant smirk. M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have told him anything without violating doctor-patient confidentiality, but damn it!<\/i> This need not have happened. This should not have happened, whatever it was.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Got them,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard confirmed with Scotty. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Now get Sybok up here, please.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Working on it. Scotty out.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga was already at the complex scanners of the quarantine unit, fingers flying over panels. Scotty appeared with Sybok before the scans were complete.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Doctor?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Scotty asked, hesitating in the door to the quarantine room.<\/p>\n
Leonard shook his head, a tight, jerky gesture. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No time now, Scotty. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll … I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll tell you what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going on as soon as I can.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He turned back to the consoles. Screens lit up, scans started. Physical, neurological. Warning lights, beeps of alarm. The results were more detailed than those of the tricorder, but essentially the same.<\/p>\n
In terms of Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s and Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s physical condition, the scans confirmed Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s initial diagnosis. Although Spock was not in pon farr<\/i>, the men were joined in a textbook version of the blood fever union. They were literally tied together thanks to the knot at the base of Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s penis. Apart from that, Jim was dehydrated after spending thirty-two hours in a desert climate without drinking. His well-intentioned preparations had left him low on fluids from the start, a fact that now acerbated his condition.<\/p>\n
Neurologically, the best medical scanners of the Enterprise were unable to tell Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s and Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s brains apart. The scans would have made more sense if they had been looking at a single brain \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a brain that was high as a kite on Spice.<\/p>\n
At first Jim reacted positively to the lower temperatures on board of the Enterprise. But when Spock started shivering, Jim displayed the same symptoms with a delay of three minutes and forty seconds. In the end M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga and Leonard had to raise the room temperature to eighty-six degrees Fahrenheit before they were able to get Jim started on intravenous rehydration therapy.<\/p>\n
When both men were resting comfortably again (or as much as that was possible without separating them), Sybok initiated another exploratory mind meld. This time, after a few moments of laying his left hand across Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face, he also touched Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s forehead. At last he pulled away his hands and stepped back.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Now what?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard demanded, turning his back on Spock and Jim and facing M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga and Sybok.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Bond hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t settled yet,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sybok said gravely. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153An interspecies Bond can take longer to become entrenched than a Bond between two Vulcan partners. As far as I can tell, their condition is stable; they are not in any mental distress. Therefore I suggest to leave them be, at least for another day or two. The influence of Spice on their mental state should wear off soon. If any effects of the drug should persist, Spock ought to have no problems controlling them, both for Jim and himself.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why did you administer Spice in the first place?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga asked, clearly appalled. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That is not standard procedure. Minds should be clear of any outside influence during a Bonding.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That is true,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sybok admitted with visible reluctance. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I was … taking a chance. Spice activates the psionic potential of Humans. My stepmother used it during her pregnancy to maintain a prenatal Bond with Spock. I hoped Spice would similarly enable Jim to form a stronger Bond with Spock than would normally be possible between a Human and a Vulcan. I believe I was right. From what I perceived in the meld, their nascent Bond is extremely strong. The brain scans support that impression. I did not anticipate that Spock would lose control and allow the drug to affect them in such a way. It is a most unusual reaction for a Vulcan.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, sex and drugs and rock \u00e2\u20ac\u2122n\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 roll will do that to you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard scowled. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not Vulcan. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s half-Human, damn you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He turned to M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Your verdict?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bonding and pon farr<\/i> are the most intimate aspects of Vulcan life, Dr. McCoy,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga replied, his dark face tense. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thanks to my work with genetic hybridization techniques at the Vulcan Science Academy, I have been privileged to learn more about the psychological and physical consequences of Vulcan Bonding and mating than any human scientist before. But I have never seen any brain scans of the process or the condition. I do not know if any exist \u00e2\u20ac\u201c or existed, now that Vulcan is gone. As I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m also not a telepath myself, I have to rely on Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s conclusions. A second opinion would be helpful. However, both Kirk and Spock have logged their refusal to let Dr. Elbrun access to their minds outside a medical emergency.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He frowned and scrutinized the displays of the scanners once more. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153While the scans are extremely unusual, they do not indicate any immediate danger for either brain. Their physical condition is satisfactory. Therefore I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe we have sufficient reason to involve Dr. Elbrun at this point. In consequence we need to rely on Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s assessment of their mental state beyond what the scans can tell us. Based on my knowledge of the Bonding process, I do believe that Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s proposal is valid. Kirk and Spock are monitored closely now. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be alerted to any change. At this point in time, it might be best not to interfere with the process.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And the rest?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard made an impatient, rude gesture. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Any suggestions for how to handle their current … attachment?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga remained calm in spite of whatever apprehension or disapproval he might harbor concerning the situation. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Spock is not in pon farr<\/i>,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he stated. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thankfully. However, the mode of intercourse is definitely that of plak\u00e2\u20ac\u2122tow<\/i> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the blood fever. As you can see,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he pointed at the screen of the relevant console, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Their bodies are tied together due to the knot at the base of the Vulcan penis. For heterosexual partners that mechanism ensures conception during pon farr<\/i>. I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t expect that this particular phenomenon would also occur in a homosexual union. If this was pon farr<\/i>, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be nothing we could do about it. Since Spock is not actually suffering from plak\u00e2\u20ac\u2122tow<\/i>, a mild sedative might allow us to separate them. However, I have no idea if or how that would affect the Bonding process.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga tapped the panel and brought up additional scan results. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Due to the medication Kirk received from me in preparation for the Bonding there are no immediate medical concerns. Therefore my suggestion is the same as Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in that regard. Monitor them and leave them be. Once the meds wear off and Kirk\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gastrointestinal functions normalize, we can review the situation and the option of administering a sedative in order to separate them physically.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Leonard didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to listen to them. Not to M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga and least of all to Sybok. He turned around and forced himself to look at Jim and Spock.<\/p>\n
Jesus, Jim. Alien drugs and alien sex. You never do anything halfway, do you? <\/i>Leonard felt a crazy urge to separate them and lock Jim up somewhere safe for the rest of his life. But of course that wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t possible, and it would be wrong, too. Leonard did his best to ignore the naked facts in front of him and focus on their faces. They looked so damn young, so utterly exposed, and in spite of their particular positions … strangely innocent. Happy.<\/i><\/p>\n
M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Benga stepped next to him. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Leonard,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said in a soft voice, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re worried; so am I. But what we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re looking at here is not just a medical condition. Our language lacks the words to express what this is. Formally, less than a marriage. But effectively, a closer union than any mere Human can hope for. We must<\/i> respect that. As far as that is medically possible.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Damn it, Jabilo, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you think I get that?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard snapped. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do you really believe I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m that narrow-minded? Do you really think that I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t understand how they are together?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He rubbed a shaking hand over his forehead. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t wish them happiness?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
After a long moment of silence, Leonard sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like this,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he announced. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like this at all. But fine, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll do it your way for now. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll keep them here and monitor them. Sybok, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to stay on the Enterprise until this is over. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re responsible for this mess, you help us fix it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Leonard scowled at the older Vulcan. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll set up a feed to our comm units from the monitors. I want both of you here at the first chirp of alarm.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He gestured at Jim and Spock. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Besides brain damage and infection due to prolonged anal contact we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to figure out how to get Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s weight off Jim soon. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s quite an awkward position they are in. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s almost a miracle it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not affecting Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s breathing yet, and we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to watch out for circulation issues in his legs as well. Even if they snap out of this soon, Jim will be sore as hell for days, and not just in his ass, either.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
Jo waited until Sybok had left. Then she barged into the room. Even on a starship as big as the Enterprise, space was a rare commodity. So Jo and Thorby shared a room now, their privacy protected by flexible plastic partitions that went around their bunks. Jo went straight for Thorby\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s bed. She didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t bother knocking on the privacy wall curving around his bed, because he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d never invite her in. Instead, she just pulled it back far enough to slip inside and sit down cross-legged at the foot of his bed.<\/p>\n
Thorby looked awful, the way he lay on his bed, so pale that the delicate tips of his ears were almost translucent. His face was yellowish. Humans went green when they felt sick. Thorby went yellow, like old alabaster. (Jo had researched alabaster for a fanfic, because Carolyn had told them that they should check their clich\u00c3\u00a9s so they knew what they were writing about. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been disgusted to discover that alabaster often wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t smooth and white, but rather poriferous and yellowish. Not nice.)<\/p>\n
Thorby didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t move or say anything. Just lay there, looking very small, staring at the ceiling. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey, Thorbs,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she whispered, keeping her voice as low as possible. He probably had an awful headache now. He always had. It would take a while yet for the hypo to kick in. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Any progress?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He shook his head, black eyes huge in the sickly, pointy face. He wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t real big on Vulcan mind control and logic. Logic hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t kept his planet safe. Mind control didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make the awful stuff that had happened to him go away. But he still blamed himself for not being better at it, for not being Vulcan enough to retrieve the information given to him for Starfleet by his adoptive father.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t worry,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she murmured, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll get there. That was only the third session with Sybok. It takes time. Back on Earth, after my mother\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s death, dad made me talk to a therapist. That never helped, although I had dozens of sessions. Now I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m talking to Guinan sometimes, and you know what? She gets<\/i> me. And that? Helps. And Sybok gets you, doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t he?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She was rambling. But Thorby didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to mind. Or at least he looked a little bit less pinched and yellow. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Now budge up so I can get in.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Thorby shifted, and Jo snuggled against his side. Her dad had lectured her on how Vulcans didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like to be touched. But her dad was wrong. Vulcans might not like being touched in general and by random people. There were exceptions, though. For example, Spock<\/i> liked being touched by Uncle Jim just fine. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d noticed how his dark eyes gleamed when Uncle Jim jostled him a bit, the way Uncle Jim always did with people he liked, and also how Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s stern mouth kind of softened into an almost-smile when Uncle Jim put his arm around the back of Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s chair at dinner, which was practically touching. And Thorby, well, so far the only thing that made his nightmares stop was when she sneaked into his bed and cuddled him like a giant, pointy-eared teddy (or maybe the other way around, letting him cuddle her, as if she were his Jo-shaped comfort blankie). Jo knew all about waking from dreams screaming. Thorby couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even cry. If she could help keep bad dreams away, she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d never mind getting up extra early to slip back into her own bed unnoticed. As a result she spent more nights sleeping in Thorby\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s bed than not. By now they were as at home in the other\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nightmares as in their own.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Main thing is, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re safe, and the bad guys didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get the info your dad put in your head,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jo insisted.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153But this is important,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Thorby disagreed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153People may be dying because I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t control myself. Pop trusted me to pass on his message. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the last thing he asked me to do, and I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not looking at it logically. Your pop had no idea when a federation starship would get to New Sydney for you to tell anyone about anything. He was no doctor or mind healer. He couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t plan for how weird Vulcan minds can be. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re doing the best you can. Sybok said you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re making progress. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re doing what you can. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s enough.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She pulled Thorby into her arms. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Now shush,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she ordered, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153and take a nap until Carolyn calls us for dinner.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
Carolyn Paul was sitting in Doctor McCoy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s living room, trying to concentrate on reading \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Harry Potter\u00e2\u20ac\u009d on her PADD. She had a thing for children\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s books, the older and the more obscure the better. Especially in times of stress. Perhaps a strange preference, but well, everyone had a weak spot. At least hers didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t come in a bottle or a hypo.<\/p>\n
It had been quite a surprise that McCoy had called her to watch over Jo and Thorby when a medical emergency had come up tonight. After what had happened this morning, she had assumed he wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be talking to her again anytime soon outside ship\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s business, if that. Not that she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d blame him. Even though there was no way she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d follow through on her threat. Yes, sure, she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d tried to provoke him and to get a rise out of him at the end of their argument \u00e2\u20ac\u201c discussion \u00e2\u20ac\u201c whatever. If she hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been so horribly hung over and embarrassed and f…ing frustrated<\/i>, she would never have said anything like that in the first place. But she had. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d behaved like a jerk and made a fool of herself, and by rights McCoy should have reported her twice over. He hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t. In consequence, she had expected McCoy to at least ignore her from now on. That was what she would have done.<\/p>\n
She switched off the PADD, unable to concentrate on the book anymore. Perhaps asking her to babysit was McCoy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s way of telling her that even if she was an infatuated idiot, he was capable of keeping everything strictly professional between them? To clarify that nothing had changed? In spite of the stupid shirt and his obvious attraction to her body at least? It was stupid, but she wished she could tell him how much it meant to her that she hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t freaked out over that. That she hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t panicked at his touch. That there hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been any nightmares.<\/p>\n
Carolyn sighed. It was probably just a matter of convenience that he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d called her tonight. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been helping out with Jo and Thorby for weeks now when McCoy was unavailable. So he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d just defaulted to her. She glanced at the monitor that Jo violently objected to and McCoy insisted on because of Jo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s recurring night terrors. But both Jo and Thorby were fast asleep. Thorby had been very tired after his session with Sybok today and gone to bed without complaint. Of course the Vulcan boy always did what he was told, and exactly what he was told. He almost never showed any hint of emotion or any sign of preference toward anything, with the exception of Jo. Thorby liked Jo; that much was clear. And for some reason, Jo was good with Thorby. Only Mr. Spock and Sybok were better at figuring Thorby out.<\/p>\n
From day one \u00e2\u20ac\u201c when Jo had appeared in sickbay for a visit with their new Vulcan passenger \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Jo had told adults and other children what Thorby liked and what Thorby wanted, even though the boy rarely said a word or showed any other reaction. Upon questioning, Thorby invariably gave a reply that more or less supported Jo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153translations\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. Well, the intensity<\/i> of his explanations and Jo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s translations never matched. Jo would say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He totally loves that soup, give him another bowl already!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d while Thorby might say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If that is acceptable, I would not mind consuming another bowl of soup.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jo would push away another child, shouting, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you see that he hates <\/i>it if someone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s close behind him? Stay off his back, idiot!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d while Thorby, when questioned, only pressed himself against the nearest wall, eyes flat and feral, silent.<\/p>\n
Jo had, in her way, adopted Thorby. And Thorby had let her. Carolyn and the other adults responsible for the children were at the same time relieved and concerned over the unlikely friendship. There was an element of codependency to the children\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s relationship that needed to be watched. Jo meant well, but (much like her father) she could be a bit of a bully. Although Mr. Spock and Dr. Elbrun confirmed that Thorby did still have boundaries left that he would at least attempt to defend, he was extremely passive, even for a Vulcan child. Still, for the time being, everyone was grateful that Thorby had found someone he was able to trust at all \u00e2\u20ac\u201c even if that someone happened to be an eleven-year-old girl.<\/p>\n
Now that she had abandoned her book, Carolyn got up and retrieved a cup of rooibos tea from the replicator. Since Uhura had refined the code based on her private supplies of real rooibos tea, the replicated version was quite enjoyable. Carolyn wondered what kind of emergency kept McCoy down in sickbay tonight and hoped it was nothing bad. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d heard nothing about any of the crew down on Arrakis for shore leave getting into trouble, so maybe it was just a burst appendix or something like that.<\/p>\n
At 2300 hours, McCoy showed up, looking like hell warmed over. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sorry,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can you stay the night? That emergency, I … I think it would be better if I stayed in sickbay.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Shit,<\/i> she thought, then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s bad. Real bad. <\/i><\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153The kids are sleeping,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Carolyn said when he sat down, too exhausted to even launch into his usual interrogation about everything Jo had said and done. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been no problems. Jo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s worried, though. It would be good if you can talk to her tomorrow. How about some tea? Have you eaten anything at all?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He nodded automatically, leaving it up to her to decide which question he had meant to answer. Another indicator for how serious the situation was. Like most medics he was awful about taking care of his own health. He routinely worked abnormal hours, ate whatever whenever he had the time, slept in snatches. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d had heard rumors that his secret stash of whiskey was rivaled only by Scotty\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s still. If he was shattered enough to accept tea …<\/p>\n
She pondered what to get him. For her dad, she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d order a pint of lager and bangers and mash in a blink. But what was the equivalent in terms of traditional Southern comfort food? After a hard stare at the menu, she chose sweet iced tea and cheese grits with sausage. She hoped the replicator wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mess up. She hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tried getting that particular type of ethnic cuisine out of it before and wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really familiar with it. Thankfully, the combination seemed to be pretty standard because the replicator blinked green lights at her after no more than two minutes.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Here you go,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she said and put grits and tea in front of McCoy. When he just stared at the plate, she reminded him gently, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re supposed to eat that, you know.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Mechanically, he picked up fork and knife and dug in without a word. He didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t notice what he was eating. She kept him company with another cup of rooibos tea. Only when he was done and she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d cleared the table, she dared to ask what was going on.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153How bad is it?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Carolyn asked, worried. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can you tell me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
McCoy sighed and rubbed his temples wearily. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nothing to talk about yet. And nothing I could tell you even if there was.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sorry I asked. I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean to pry, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m aware of\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He rolled his eyes. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I know you are. Thanks for the food and for babysitting. And for …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He frowned. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153… caring. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a shitty thing to ask of you right now, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m afraid I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be around much during the next days and …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Again he rubbed his temples. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153See, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s why I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to take Jo with me. I should be here, taking care of her, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the damn CMO, and even if that makes me the worst dad of all times\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Carolyn shook her head, silencing him. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not a crime to have a job or to love that job. Even if it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a difficult job that comes with awkward hours and tons of stress. Jo knows there are times when she can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t come first on board. She doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Damn,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he muttered. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not how it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s supposed to be.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What in life is?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Carolyn asked with a bitter shrug. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Doctor\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Leonard,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he interrupted her. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The name\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Leonard.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
She blinked at him in astonishment. That was about the last thing she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d expected after their argument this morning, and certainly not in the middle of whatever emergency he was caught up in at the moment. Men, really.<\/i> She forced herself to go on as if there was nothing to it. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Leonard, Jo doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind your job. She minds if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t talk to her. See that you make time for that, tell her what you can. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll take care of the kids until this is over, whatever it is. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t worry about them. Just remember that even a CMO needs food and sleep sometimes. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not an Augment, okay?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
Leonard stood in front of the glass window that separated the antechamber from the quarantine room, a little light-headed from the hypo that had eliminated his tension headache. Inside the room the lights were dimmed, but it was more than bright enough to see the naked bodies on the bed. Hours after they had been beamed on board, more than a day after their Bonding, Jim and Spock remained unaware of their surroundings. Their physical condition was stable now. Their mental state was still bizarre. The worst Spice high Leonard had ever seen and Vulcan voodoo he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even have a medical term for kept them deep in trance. They stayed oblivious of what was happening to them, of what they were doing to each other.<\/p>\n
Leonard realized he should leave when they started to move. The scanners were calibrated to alert him the second their condition changed for the worse in any way. In consequence it was wrong<\/i> to stay here, watching, when that was not the case. There was no reason for him to be here, and every reason not to be. Even as patients they had a right to their privacy, their intimacy. But he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t move. He remained where he was, frozen, staring …<\/p>\n
… as Spock moved his other hand to Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face, as Spock cradled Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s head tenderly, because nothing in the entire damn universe was more precious than Jim<\/i> … as Jim reached in turn for Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face with an expression of infinite joy, because the universe contained Spock<\/i> … as they began to move in unison, as they began to fuck in earnest, without opening their eyes, without saying a word, utterly lost in each other, mind and body.<\/p>\n
Leonard couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look away. Couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look away as his best friend arched upward in his lust, as he pressed his flushed, erect penis against Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s stomach to increase the friction. Couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look away as Jim gave himself up to his lover all over again. Couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look away from Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tear-streaked face, from his slender body thrusting into Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s anus \u00e2\u20ac\u201c out of control, helpless in his need. So fucking<\/i> beautiful.<\/p>\n
When their climax registered on the scanners, Leonard stumbled from the quarantine room. He had no idea how he found his way back to his office, even though it was just around the corner. It was pure dumb luck that he managed not to come on the spot. He fell into one of the visitor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s chairs in his office. The impact jarred his lumbar vertebrae, but he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t care. He dug his nails into the arm rests to keep from touching himself, from jerking off.<\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a doctor, <\/i>Leonard reminded himself sternly. Not a fucking peeping tom, damn it.<\/i><\/p>\n
But not even a strict lecture seemed to have an effect on his stubborn erection. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Damn it all to hell<\/i>, he thought. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not my kink.<\/i> Scopophilia does nothing for me.<\/i> Only obviously it just had. He pressed down on his arousal with the heel of his hand, as if that would make it go away, and the feeling of shame that accompanied it. An erection is an autonomic response<\/i>, he told himself, caused by a variety of stimuli. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not completely under conscious control. This is a normal, natural reaction to seeing something so … so … <\/i>He wanted to downplay what he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d seen and the effect it had on him with dirty slang and more cussing, but he couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fucking beautiful,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he muttered belligerently. And happy. So happy.<\/i> My best friend. And the damn green-blooded hobgoblin. <\/i>Who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d become a friend, too, at some point during the turmoils of the past two years. And I have no idea if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll get them back with their minds intact.<\/i><\/p>\n
Apparently that was what it took to make his erection to wilt. Fear. And dread. With a dash of despair.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Okay,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Carolyn told Thorby. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s go. Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s waiting for us in sickbay.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Thorby stood, looking a little jaundiced around the edges. The melds with Sybok were physically uncomfortable. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d managed to get Thorby to admit that, at least. With Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s help, Leonard had concocted a hypo that helped with the headache and nausea. But no hypo would help with the emotional fallout. Thorby was unable to fulfill his adoptive father\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s last wish, and his failure was hurting him. Sybok and Mr. Spock did their best to assure the young Vulcan that it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t his fault, but that didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help.<\/p>\n
Carolyn wanted so much to hug the little boy, stubborn glare, pointy ears and all, but she knew better. What Thorby needed most was respect for what was left of his limits. Jo, however, wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t big on boundaries. She marched up to Thorby and hugged him close. Carolyn was ready to intervene with a sharp reprimand when she caught how Thorby closed his eyes for a second and inclined his head just a fraction, almost as if he wanted to rest his head against Jo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s protective shoulder \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the girl was more than a head taller than he was.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Go kick ass, Thorbs,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jo ordered and stepped back.<\/p>\n
Thorby nodded solemnly.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Next time, you ask Thorby if he wants a hug,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Carolyn told Jo. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re back, your homework is done. And I mean homework, not that fanfic you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re working on.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yessir,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jo replied with a salute. She winked at Thorby.<\/p>\n
Shaking her head, Carolyn left the room with Thorby following close behind.<\/p>\n
In one of the private consultation rooms in sickbay, Sybok and Leonard were already waiting for them. Leonard looked even worse than the previous evening, feverish and pale, as if his entire energy was borrowed from emergency stimulants by now. To her surprise, Mr. Spock wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t there. Carolyn frowned. Wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t he supposed to have returned from shore leave with the captain the previous day? It wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like Spock to miss an appointment. Now that she thought about it, she realized that she couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t remember an announcement that Kirk was back and had taken the conn again. She shivered. Goose on my grave,<\/i> she thought. If something bad has happened to the captain and the first officer, surely I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have heard something by now?<\/i> But then she remembered what Leonard had said the night before, and worse, his expression as he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d told her that there was nothing to tell yet and that he wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be able to in any case. Please, no. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re so far from home already. We can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lose them both. What even happened?<\/i> Then she gave herself a mental shake. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be an idiot, Carolyn. You have no idea what happened. If anything happened at all.<\/i><\/p>\n
Thorby hopped up on the biobed without prompting and lay back. Carolyn noticed how tense he was, how he had to force his hands to relax at his sides. She marveled at the boy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s willpower, how he managed that.<\/p>\n
Sybok sat down on a medic\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s stool next to the biobed. His strangely expressive face was schooled into a mask of quiet control for once. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you agree, Thorbehrak, I will meld with you. When I know your thoughts, I shall attempt to shift the blocks of pain and trauma in your mind that prevent you from accessing the information Colonel Baslim wanted you to pass on. I will do only that, and nothing else. I will not take away your pain or in any way interfere with your feelings beyond that. You can tell me to stop at any point, and I will.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes, sir,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Thorby replied. He closed his eyes and seemed to shrink, withdrawing into himself.<\/p>\n
In an unguarded moment, Carolyn saw Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mask slip. Compassion flared in his eyes, a deep and painful sympathy. Sybok also looked tired. Not quite as exhausted as Leonard, but he definitely had the look of someone who was burning the candle at both ends. Yet when he turned to Thorby, he was completely calm again, collected, and incredibly gentle.<\/p>\n
He rested the fingers of his right hand on Thorby\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s meld points very lightly, barely touching him and making sure to keep as much distance between his body and the boy as possible. Sybok closed his eyes. His features grew rigid in a mask of intense concentration. Thorby groaned. At his sides, his hands twitched helplessly, balling into fists. Beneath closed lids his eyes wildly rolled back and forth in his head. Minutes passed that way until he relaxed with a harsh sigh. Carolyn glimpsed four tiny green crescents on the inside of one of his palms \u00e2\u20ac\u201c bleeding nail marks \u00e2\u20ac\u201c before he moved his hands closer to his body.<\/p>\n
After a long moment Sybok sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ahh…<\/i> Here we go.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He opened his eyes and swayed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That was … most unpleasant.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Sybok swallowed hard. The agony, the bleakness in his eyes scared Carolyn. She very much wanted to say something, about how you could come back from what Thorby had experienced. But she knew that not everyone could find a way out of this kind of darkness. Some days, many nights, she wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sure about herself. And she was human, used to emotional upheaval, and an adult, with a father to help her, and a goal in her life. (To catch those bastards. To put them on trial. To make them rot in prison.) Thorby had no one left. His planet was gone, his family dead, his adoptive father murdered.<\/p>\n
Leonard pressed a glass of water into Sybok\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hand, an action that obviously amused the Vulcan. But he still drank the water. At last Sybok inhaled deeply. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I will now initiate a superficial meld that equates a light trance. Upon input of the correct code, Thorbehrak should be able to deliver whatever message Colonel Baslim has implanted for Starfleet to receive. You may want to record the information. Though now that I have been able to remove the block, Thorbehrak should be able to replay everything on demand as often as necessary.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Carolyn readied a PADD that Mr. Spock had prepared for that purpose. The captain himself had assured her that the encryptions the first officer used were the safest he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d ever seen. Gaila had agreed.<\/p>\n
Sybok placed his hand on Thorby\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face again. This time, he whispered the traditional words: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Then he nodded at Carolyn. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The code, please.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
All of a sudden, Carolyn was shaking. Her heart was pounding, and her vision was fraying at the edges. Not now,<\/i> she thought desperately. Can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a panic attack when Thorby\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s so brave. And we need the data. I need to be alert now, not panicking.<\/i><\/p>\n
A moment later, she winced at the painful prick of a hypo. Leonard put an arm around her. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Exhale,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he ordered. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think about inhaling. Let your body take care of that on its own. Again. All that breath you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re holding. Good. Now give Thorby his code.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Leonard took the PADD from her hand, his index finger ready to press the symbol that would start the recording.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153PATS 1863 S31 …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she started and then reeled off the lengthy activation code. When she was done, she concentrated on her breathing again, on exhaling instead of hyperventilating. Whatever medication Leonard had given her made her hyperaware of her surroundings and strangely calm at the same time. She also realized that he was still holding her. Before she could process that fact, Thorby started speaking. His voice was high and boyish, but perfectly Vulcan \u00e2\u20ac\u201c utterly calm and expressionless.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Code confirmed. Part one, New Sydney spaceport registry, stardate 2250 to 2260. Part two, bookkeeping files of the United Pergium Mining Consortiums, stardate 2255 to 2260. Part three, the transportation logs of New Sydney authorities, stardate 2257 to 2260 …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\u00e2\u20ac\u201c Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 6: Fables and Reflections<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When You Fall, You Fly Stardate 2260.249, 2020 hours, Deck 7, Sickbay Five minutes later, Leonard stumbled from the transporter platform almost before he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d materialized. Gratefully, he noticed that Scotty had been true to his word: The transporter room was … Continue reading