Nyota was a morning person. Always had been, always would be. Even on a starship running on a 24\/7 schedule where mornings didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really exist. When she was on Alpha shift, she got up at 0400 hours so she had time for a good workout and a leisurely breakfast. That was also the reason why she sat ensconced at the back of the officer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mess behind a thicket of ficus benjamina <\/i>with her breakfast and her PADD right now. After an hour running through a display of the Serengeti, twenty minutes on an auto-massage couch, and a long sonic shower, she was wide awake and wonderfully relaxed. She comfortably stirred a mug of fragrant Rooibos tea. (Real tea, not replicated, but from her own loose-leafed mixture, thank you very much.) The concoction glowed in a translucent red hue, and the subtle scent of spices swirling upwards in a wisp of steam made her sigh with appreciation. The millet gruel was replicated, but just four days into the mission, the plums were not. Pretty much a perfect breakfast.<\/p>\n
She turned to her PADD and scrolled to the last message from John. She enjoyed his arrogant humor and biting sarcasm. His recklessness, not so much. One day he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d get into the kind of trouble not even his superhuman strength (or her timely intervention) would get him out of. Light-years away, she could only be grateful that so far, it hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t come to that. Though not for lack of trying, <\/i>she thought, scanning his report. Somehow <\/i>a prototype Klingon warbird had ended up on Earth. And now it was being thoroughly tested by John and his crew. She shook her head. Boys and their toys.<\/i> Bizarre how the fascination of a centuries-old Augment with crashing an alien spaceship basically came down to that impulse. Nevertheless, it was true.<\/p>\n
Footsteps made her look up. The captain was making a beeline toward her table. As Jim was not a morning person, she should have been safe at this hour. But apparently not. And while he appeared to be freshly showered, his hair was mussed, and his eyes had a frantic gleam to them. Spock was nowhere in sight.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Uhura! Fancy meeting you here. Mind if I join you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He gestured with a token mug of coffee. The scent told her it was from Rand\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s special stash, at least. Nyota didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think she could have stomached the stink of replicated coffee.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Captain,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she said, giving in to the inevitable. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Would you like to sit down?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jim,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he reminded her and slid into the bench opposite her chair. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re off duty.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He put his mug down and dragged both hands through his hair, messing it up even worse than before. Lowering his gaze, he then proceeded to brood into his coffee. His posture was taut with nervous tension. At the same time his expression was less tightly drawn than it had been in months. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Also, this is kind of … personal.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Oh, great<\/i>, Nyota thought. Didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t expect that.<\/i> Relief and irritation mingled. The way he and Spock had been acting, she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d steeled herself to endure the vibes of unresolved sexual tension between the two of them for the next five months, if not five years. Good for them if they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d somehow managed to get a move on. She hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t enjoyed daily exposure to their UST. At the same time that didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean she was looking forward to living and working with her ex\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s new-found bliss right in front of her nose \u00e2\u20ac\u201c while she herself was forced to redefine the meaning of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153long-distance relationship\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. Last but not least, she didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to discuss any of that with Kirk.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Captain …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she started. But he shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jim,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he reminded her firmly, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153even if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still not officially allowed to know what your first name is.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
She rolled her eyes. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Relentless\u00e2\u20ac\u009d didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even remotely capture Kirk\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s personality. She sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jim, then.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d His sigh of relief was almost cute. Almost.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Look, this is awkward,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he pressed on, ignoring her wince. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I get that. And that you think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m an asshole, and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not even wrong. But I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m trying.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He stared at her, his strange new hazel eyes bright with intensity. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is too important for me to mess up.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Oh God. What have I done to deserve this? <\/i>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you want to tell me about a change in the status of your relationship with Spock, consider the message received.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Jim jumped so hard that he spilled coffee over his hand and the table. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Damn!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He grabbed a napkin to stem the flooding. Once he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d mopped up the splash, he twisted the stained tissue into a wad. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really sorry, you know? Even though in a very selfish way, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he muttered. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I figured you get that, what with ending things between you and Spock when you did.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Strangely enough, she believed him. Maybe because semantically the first part didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make any sense at all, while emotionally … yes. That.<\/i> She studied Kirk over the rim of her teacup. With a pang she realized how troubled he looked. Older than twenty-seven, and more than exhausted. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Captain …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she started. Suddenly she couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t keep up her customary level of annoyance with him. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jim<\/i>. I realize how exciting new love is. But just because your new lover is Vulcan, you still require sleep like an ordinary human being. Give it a try sometime. At least every other day or so?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
He snorted into his coffee. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We did, actually,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said, managing to hide behind his mug. His ears reddened with embarrassment. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And I mean just sleep!<\/i> Christ, Uhura, did you think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d come talk to you right after I had sex with your ex for the first time?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He stared at her. Then he rubbed both hands over his face. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Shit. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s exactly what you were thinking, right?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Nyota,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she muttered. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And yes, I was.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nyota.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i> He gazed at her like a ten-year old who had been giving a puppy for his birthday.<\/p>\n
She rolled her eyes at him. Again. As if he hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t known. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t, then what happened? Because I hope you didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t interrupt my breakfast with a topic I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to talk about because nothing<\/i> happened between the two of you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153First off, let me repeat, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not that bad a jerk,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Kirk declared. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Honest. Even I am not that insensitive.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ears still red, he turned his attention back to whatever revelations were lurking inside his mug. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153A kiss,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he admitted at last. And the way he said that one word, so soft and surprised, that really hurt, all over again.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Okay, well, one hell of a kiss,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he went on, in typical male obliviousness. Then he grimaced. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And then I kind of fell asleep. Or he made me. Vulcans. Whatever. When I woke, he wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t there, and you know how he is.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153How?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153About privacy. Alone time.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So instead of searching for Spock you decided to come here, spoil my breakfast, and tell me you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re finally getting somewhere with my ex?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Nyota gave up on her gruel. But there was no way she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d let the plums go to waste.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Seriously, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sorry,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Kirk repeated with a stiff shrug. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It seemed the right thing to do. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m honestly trying not to be a jerk here.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Nyota sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I get that, Jim. And I do appreciate it. Now go and find Spock. Try Observation lounge four. Just one thing …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim, already on his feet, halted and gave her a wary look.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No making out on the bridge. Remember, I know how Vulcans do it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153May your rest have been refreshing and your dreams uplifting, gentle being.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Jo woke with a start, her heart pounding. For a moment she had no idea where she was. White walls crowded her in; a high mirror reflected her frightened, tired eyes. A stuffy, warmish scent pervaded the air. The door opening was covered by a curtain, and there was someone on the other side, talking to her.<\/p>\n
Abruptly, she remembered. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d hidden in a changing cubicle in the textiles and fabrics replications department at around 2300 the previous evening. She glanced at the clock above the mirror. 0800 hours! She must have slept right through the alarm of her PADD. Or perhaps she had forgotten to set it in the first place. Damn. <\/i><\/p>\n
To hide in plain sight was at the same time easier and way more exhausting than Jo had expected. Easier because the Enterprise was so big, with more than twenty decks, and because a starship was on a 24\/7 schedule. All over the ship people were awake and going about their business twenty-four hours a day, working Alpha, Beta, or Gamma shift. Kids were supposed to be on a regular Terran schedule. But at least for the time being, this first week in space, kids were underfoot the whole time, everywhere. Therefore hiding was more a matter of sneaking into settings where a kid her age was expected to be at any given time, but without ever being present for any kind of roll call. So she showed up for recess at the school to hang out with Gus. She slipped into the spa on Beta shift to play with some other kids and to get a few hours of much needed sleep where it wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t come across too weird. Later she crept into movie theaters. And so on and so forth. At the same time she had to stay on the move more or less all day, and she never dared to stay in any one hiding place for too long. She hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t had a good night\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sleep since before they left orbit. Which probably explained her oversleeping in the changing cubicle like that.<\/p>\n
Jo sat up. Apprehensive, she peeked around the curtain and stared at the woman who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d discovered her. It was the beautiful white lady she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d encountered at breakfast the first day on the Enterprise. With dread settling in the pit of her stomach, Jo waited for the awkward questions and the demand to contact her parents, which would lead to her discovery. But the woman just smiled at her, sort of serenely. Again Jo experienced a strange, fuzzy kind of sensation in her head. Telepathy, she was sure of it now. But the woman \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Gwaloth something or other, Jo remembered her name now \u00e2\u20ac\u201c still didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t ask why she wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t at school, why she wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t with her parents, or why she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d slept in a changing cubicle.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thank you,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jo said at last, remembering her manners. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I did sleep well.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d There was no reason to pretend she hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t spent the night here. It was kind of obvious from how she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been curled up on the floor, using her messenger bag as a pillow, cuddling into a blanket she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d stolen from the spa.<\/p>\n
Gwaloth smiled. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Would you honor me with breaking your fast in my company?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Breakfast with you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jo stared. Slowly she got it through her head that no difficult questions might be happening, and that her secret was, perhaps, still safe.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d the woman said patiently. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153For is it not customary for Humans to consume sustenance in company at regular intervals?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jo said and nodded, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153it is. And sure, can do.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She was almost dizzy with relief now. And quite hungry, too. Her stomach growled. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can we eat down here? And can I ask you about your work? I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve looked at some of those costumes on display here last night. They are fabulous. Awesome fabrics. And the clothes don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look replicated at all …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n
Bones was a hands-on doctor and always would be, a healer instead of a medical technician.<\/p>\n
Sure, like any good surgeon he loved his high-tech sickbay with its top-notch diagnostic devices. He adored his tricorders as the miracles of 23rd<\/sup> century medical progress they were. He valued every single gadget that could help him save a life, from machinery that allowed bone and tissue and even organ regeneration within hours to hypos that eradicated even the most stubborn virus within minutes. Jim knew from painful experience that hypos were perhaps Bones\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s favorite toys.<\/p>\n But Bones would always trust his instincts above and beyond technology.<\/p>\n Therefore, Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s first physical of the mission consisted not just of scans and blood tests, but of poking and prodding, of inspection, palpation, percussion, and auscultation, starting with his head and ending with his little toes, not leaving out anything embarrassing in the middle.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Stop fidgeting, for heaven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sake,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones growled. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nothing there I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seen before.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Jim just groaned. There was any number of things he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d rather not be reminded of. Just how intimately acquainted Bones was with his body and all his bodily functions definitely made the top ten of the list. The reboot had reduced Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s physical capacities to that of a newborn baby at first. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been damn lucky that it had taken him just a few months to relearn how to walk, talk, eat, and yeah, use the toilet.<\/p>\n At last they were done, and Jim sprawled in the visitor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s chair on the other side of Bones\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s big desk. With his best slouch he pretended not to be keyed up to the point of a panic attack.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Stop freaking out already, will ya?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones sat down at his desk and called up Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s file on the screen of his computer, then swiveled it around so Jim could take a look for himself. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not turning into Frankenstein, a homicidal lunatic, or anything else besides what you already are \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a damn moron.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gee, thanks, Bones. I love you, too.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d But he couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t suppress a sigh of relief, as a good deal of tension drained out of him.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153See, here, and here, and here?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones pointed at the screen. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153All those parameters have stabilized. In fact, they haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t changed in any statistically relevant way for three months now.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones leaned back before he went on, going over the details. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Your life expectancy \u00e2\u20ac\u201c provided you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do something stupid and get yourself killed \u00e2\u20ac\u201c may not quite match that of a full Augment, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s probably right up there with Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s. If you watch your diet and keep in shape, you should end up a very spry two-hundred year old, at least.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n For a moment Jim was strangely aware of his heartbeats. Thud. Thud-thud.<\/i> Thud.<\/i> He hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even thought of that before \u00e2\u20ac\u201c how, without Marcus, his natural life span would have been around half of Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s. Always assuming, of course, he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do something stupid and got himself killed long before old age could off him.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Your physical strength has also increased,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones indicated the relevant results on the screen, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153but not beyond the readings we got at the last four exams. So please keep in mind that you still can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t take on Spock or your average Klingon in your sleep. However, a guy like Cupcake shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be a problem any longer.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t before,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim muttered. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And why do you keep mentioning Spock in every other sentence?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Perhaps because the two of you have been joined at the hip ever since you woke up at Starfleet Medical a year ago? Possibly because he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s keeping my best nurse from work with his warped version of \u00e2\u20ac\u02dchuman small talk\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 out there right now \u00e2\u20ac\u201c while in reality he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just plain hovering, anxious like a mother-hen whose chick has been invited for tea by the fox?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones smirked, but the warmth in his eyes gave him away. Jim finally got the message. That was Bones\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s way of saying that he knew<\/i>, and that he was good with it. Somewhat abashed, Jim fidgeted and pretended to focus on the data displayed on the screen.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the good stuff,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones went on. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Now to the less pleasant results.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I knew it,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim groaned, warm and fuzzy feelings dissolving into trepidation. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What? If I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not turning into Frankenstein, what is happening to me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jesus, Jim.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones shook his head. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m beginning to believe it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a stroke of genius that Starfleet Command has sent those psychologists along on this trip, because you definitely need that counseling. Okay, now listen closely, will ya?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He leaned forward, speaking slowly and clearly, as if Jim was about five years old and a bit dim to boot. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s perfectly normal that you still experience physical and psychological after-effects. During the restoration procedure every single cell in your damn body was rebuilt from scratch. But that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean you are turning into anything. You use the transporter all the time, and you never worry about how your molecules get rearranged in the process! How often have I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve put you into decontamination to repair minor radiation damage without you turning into Godzilla? The fact that it was possible to patch up irreparable damage with Khan\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s DNA on a cellular level doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t change who you are. Think of it as a special kind of stem cell therapy. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not much more than a 21st<\/sup> century version of chicken soup. Jim, nothing is happening to you. Your body and your mind are all yours. Got it?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you say so.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim wanted to believe that. He truly did. But …<\/i><\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I do say so, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m actually qualified to, believe it or not.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What I wanted to point out are a few things we need to keep an eye on at the moment. First of all, your stress levels are way too high, and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not sleeping enough. At this point I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m willing to chalk that up to the launch of the mission. But I want to see you again in a week, and if it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not better in two, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to think of something beyond a couple of sleeping pills, which you only take on random nights when you decide not to be a stubborn son of a gun to start with. Is that clear?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Crystal.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim recognized when Bones wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be budged.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Next \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and that one should make you happy: You need to eat more. You lost another pound, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not perfectly satisfied with your lab results. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to put together some supplements for you that you will take as prescribed, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve updated your dietary requirements. Also, your body chemistry is even more sensitive than it was before, so watch out for new allergies cropping up. I want you down here ASAP at the first hint of a rash, and not only when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve already reached the joyful state of anaphylactic shock. Additionally, I want you to use the heliotherapy settings of your bed lights for one hour per day. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t care when you do that or how or with whom \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and that is not an invitation to tell me, either \u00e2\u20ac\u201c as long as you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re doing it. And I will know if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not following orders.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yessir.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim flipped off a mock salute. He didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind the light thing, actually, and he wondered if his new diet would include a steak or a burger sometimes. Or perhaps even ice cream. He didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t dare to get his hopes up in terms of chocolate. But a man could dream, right?<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Last but not least,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones paused and frowned. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The changes of your psionic potential. And if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to ask Spock to join us now.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What? Why?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim stared at Bones. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What happened to doctor-patient confidentiality?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nothing happened to that,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones replied testily. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Which is why I suggested<\/i> to ask<\/i> Spock to come in and didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just call him in. But he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s one of three telepaths on board, and your reaction to allowing Dr. Elbrun to assess\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim cut in. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No. No way, never, not happening.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Case in point,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones cried, slapping his hand on his desk with a solid smack. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dammit, Jim. You gotta trust us.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Jim leaned forward, propping his elbows on his thighs, face in his palms. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I do, Bones, I really do.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d His voice sounded muffled and tired. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want random people fucking with my mind.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Bones sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I get that, Jim. I understand. Which is why I would very much like to talk about this with Spock. You do trust Spock.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Jim raised his head. And there were those palpitations again, of feeling just too much, too deeply. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153yeah, sure.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153So may I ask Spock to join us now?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones asked patiently, and Jim kind of hated how much sympathy there was in his friend\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s and doctor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s eyes.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes. Of course. Sorry for making your job more difficult than necessary.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all right.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones got up and went to the door. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mr. Spock, stop scaring Nurse Oli with your weird Vulcan ways and get in here.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Of course, Doctor. Though I can assure you that I have not, in fact, scared the nurse. We have merely discussed a science experiment concerning herbal remedies that is of professional interest to her.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Bones rolled his eyes and returned to his seat. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sit, Mr. Spock, and take a good look at the captain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s latest brain scan and his esper ratings, aperception quotient, and Duke-Heidelberg quotient.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Spock settled down next to Jim and focused on the display. He didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t say anything, but the way his left eyebrow jerked upwards sharply was rather telling.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even say it,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim grumbled. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153My brain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fascinating<\/i>, right?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Spock met his eyes, and there was just enough of a suggestion of warmth in his gaze to make Jim stop freaking out. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Indeed.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s psionic potential is off the charts for a human being,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones said. Stabbing his index finger in Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s direction, he went on, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Not active, of course, or at least not yet, as far as I can tell. And nowhere close to yours. But then your<\/i> ratings are way beyond what passes for normal even among Vulcans.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153They are?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim stared at Spock. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Although you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re Half-Human?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Perhaps rather because<\/i> he is Half-Human,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones suggested, when Spock didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to know how to react to Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s overt curiosity. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As Humans aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t normally active telepaths or empaths, our expertise concerning extra-sensory perception is somewhat limited. So I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know for sure. But let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s get back to the brain at hand.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He switched off the screen. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153So far this development doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to mess with Jim. The insomnia might have something to do with it, but not necessarily. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m pretty sure the episodes of claustrophobia are only comparatively mild symptoms of PTSD. However, fact remains, his brain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s doing stuff it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s never done before, and in ways it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t meant to originally. We need to be prepared for problems, and since Jim has decided to refuse working with Dr. Elbrun, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just one … logical alternative.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Spock frowned at Jim, who shrugged and gave him a rather pointed look. Nice to meet you, Mr. Pot. Remember how you practically told me to go to hell when I suggested allowing Dr. Elbrun anywhere near your brain? <\/i><\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153So what do you want me to do, Doctor?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Spock asked.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Be aware of the situation. Keep an eye on the captain.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bones ran his fingers through his hair. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t say no if you were to suggest some of your Vulcan voodoo. But since there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no medical reason for it just yet, I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t order you to attempt that. Yet.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153An exploratory meld might be of merit,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Spock agreed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Captain?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Jim pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew a bit about Vulcan mind melds by now. When the thing with the psi-ratings first had come up on scans at Starfleet Medical, he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d done his homework. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d researched human psionic potential as well as Vulcan mind melds and touch-telepathy, and assorted other kinds of extra-sensory talents. His first conclusion had been that he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want that kind of mental contact with a random stranger, no matter if he was a therapist or not. And sure, not every meld would be as intimate and overwhelming an experience as the one he had shared with Spock Prime on Delta Vega. He got that. But if he was honest with himself, he wanted it to be \u00e2\u20ac\u201c if his<\/i> Spock ever melded with him. He wanted all that he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d shared with the older Spock and more, so much more, and he sure as hell didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to be in the position of a patient for it.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Not thrilled with the idea, Spock,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said at last. He took a deep breath. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Not opposed to it, either. But if it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not necessary right now, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d rather not. If that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all right with you, Bones.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Bones nodded, and that was good enough. But Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s expression rather hinted at an upcoming discussion of the matter in private. Yay, a relationship talk, and they hadn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even had sex yet or anything.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n Jim slumped back on one of the couches of the smallest Observation lounge of the Enterprise, wrung out, a headache pounding in his temples. Of course he could have scheduled the psych talk for another day, but he wanted to get it over with. He was just so tired of it all, the scans and the blood tests and the examinations and the discussions of results and ratings.<\/p>\n At least Guinan didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t poke and prod, and she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d agreed to meet up here, instead of in her small office adjacent to sickbay. She glanced at the pretty colors of his latest brain scan, scrolled down the lab results and scanned Bones\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s report. Now she put the PADD away, leaning back in the swivel chair.<\/p>\n She didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even ask, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How are you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Boy, how he appreciated that. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d endured enough \u00e2\u20ac\u0153helpful\u00e2\u20ac\u009d therapy-type questions after Tarsus to last him for three lifetimes. They both knew why he was here now, right? And that he was doing his level best to get with the program. Not that he was sure how well this counseling thing was working out, but … he was at least not trying to mess with her or sabotage the set-up on purpose.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I kissed Spock last night,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he blurted out.<\/p>\n As soon as he heard himself saying those words out loud, he wanted to take them back. He hunched over, balling his hands into fists, waiting for the blow to strike, ready to jump \u00e2\u20ac\u201c run \u00e2\u20ac\u201c whatever\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n When nothing happened, when Guinan still didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t say anything, he looked up. She didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t smile or frown. She appeared relaxed, her expression neutral.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you supposed to say something?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he asked.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do you need me to?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Interesting question. <\/i>Jim got to his feet. He just couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sit any longer. He had to move. So he paced the room in silence. After measuring the distance from wall to wall with his feet for the fifth time, he went to the window that took up the whole front of the lounge, ground to ceiling. There he stood and stared at the streaming ribbons of starlight that now and again lit up against the expanse of empty black space, as the Enterprise sped toward her destination at warp speed.<\/p>\n There, right outside the window, waited death \u00e2\u20ac\u201c cold, silent, fast, everything over in seconds. But also: opportunity, adventure. And … eternity.<\/i> He gazed outside, at light and darkness. That, right there, was what he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d always, always craved, as the best destiny he could imagine for himself. Not because of the Kelvin<\/i>. Not in spite of the Kelvin<\/i>. But because …<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Because … we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts … because the universe is in us<\/i>,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he murmured.<\/p>\n Beneath his feet Jim could feel the Enterprise, a humming, soothing vibration, like the pulse of a living creature. Breathing deeply, he watched stars and space mingle and melt away. As he observed the galaxy rushing past him, some of the pressure lifted, some of the tension drained away. A minute, two minutes, perhaps three, slipped past.<\/p>\n Jim turned around and went back to the couch.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Neil deGrasse Tyson,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Guinan said.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Somehow he wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t surprised that she had recognized the quote. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And no,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said slowly, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I actually don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I need you to say anything.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n For a moment he sat there, feeling strangely Zen, or C\u00e2\u20ac\u2122thia<\/i>, or something.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m good,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said, somewhat astonished.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he amended, thinking of sleepless nights and closed doors and psi-ratings, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153maybe not completely. Or all the time. But, mostly.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n He looked at Guinan. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m good. Spock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s good. And I think we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be even better together.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n The El-Aurian smiled.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n At the end of Beta shift, the fifth day of their journey, Leonard had skipped dinner and was still locked up in his office, poring over Jim\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s files (what else?). He told himself he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d get around to grabbing a bite before turning in for the day.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bridge to Dr. McCoy.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The purring voice of M\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Ress, the Kzinti communications officer on Beta One shift, poured out of the comm. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153A subspace message from Earth for you, marked \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcprivate\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 and \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcurgent\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. The captain has been copied. Shall I reroute the message to sickbay for you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n The kind of message no one ever wanted to receive. The kind of message that would change your life forever in an instant, and not because you won the Intergalactic Lottery.<\/p>\n Somehow Leonard rasped a reply. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Affirmative.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We regret to inform you …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i><\/p>\n Eventually he had to stop yelling at the comm unit. That bastard of a police officer simply cut off the connection. His helpless, furious questions, screamed at the top of his lungs \u00e2\u20ac\u201c about how in hell a Starfleet appointed chaperone could lose his daughter and how the supposedly best police force of the Federation was unable to locate an eleven year old girl on the allegedly safest planet of the known galaxy \u00e2\u20ac\u201c were met with a black screen. His attempts to call back, to get another subspace connection with the police of San Francisco yielded no result. The red light of the sickbay comm unit kept flickering in the relentless rhythm of connection failure, of defeat. A subspace connection with Earth is temporarily not available.<\/i><\/p>\n Then Jim was there, with Spock and Dr. Chapel hovering in the background. Reality condensed to the glass of bourbon in his shaking hands.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jo\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be okay, Bones,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jim insisted. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll find her. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a smart kid. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be fine. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll find her. Kids do the darndest things.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n He wanted to ask Jim to turn around the ship. He wanted to beg Jim to forget about their mission. He wanted to plead with Jim to put his little girl above their orders, above everything<\/i>. But he of course couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t. He clutched the glass of whiskey so hard that he thought it should break into a thousand pieces right there in his hands. But it didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jo …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/i><\/p>\n \u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6\u00e2\u2122\u00a6<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on Earth, the atoms that make up the human body, are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars … the ingredients for life itself. So that when I look up at the night sky and I know that yes, we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the Universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up \u00e2\u20ac\u201c many people feel small because they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re small and the Universe is big \u00e2\u20ac\u201c but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars. There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a level of connectivity. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s really what you want in life, you want to feel connected, you want to feel relevant you want to feel like a participant in the goings on of activities and events around you That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s precisely what we are, just by being alive\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The Universe in Us Stardate 2260.132, 0500 hours, Deck 5, Officers\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Mess Nyota was a morning person. Always had been, always would be. Even on a starship running on a 24\/7 schedule where mornings didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really exist. When she was … Continue reading Stardate 2260.132, 1600 hours, Deck 10, Observation Lounge<\/h3>\n
Stardate 2260.133, 2000 hours, Deck 7, Sickbay<\/h3>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u201c Neil deGrasse Tyson<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"